"The point is that you can't be too greedy."

Anthony writes:

We all have one: the Prize. Something that we've promised we'll buy ourselves as a reward when we get through all the exams, write all the papers, and slide into that shiny new job. After all, you don't slave for three years and work yourself to death in order to get money. You sell your soul for the things that money buys.

Since we're all stressing like mad over exams, the Prize is probably more on our minds than normal. So in the name of fostering avarice everywhere: tell us what it is. Just leave a comment with your particular prize, or if your a blawger, just make sure to track back to this entry. Eventually we'll have a master-list of law school avarice, and then we can... we can... erm... I'm sure we'll find a use for it somehow.

Oh, a few rules: (a) No beauty-contestant answers, like "A job working for world peace." That's very sweet, but it's not what we're looking for. (b) Answers are limited to things you want to buy yourself. Again, it's nice that you want to buy your parents that yacht they always wanted, but 'tis not the point. (c) If possible, include a link to an example, so we can all see.

I didn't promise myself a Prize, which may explain my performance on last semester's set of exams. Getting a job - any job - after graduation would be reward enough for a Southwestern grad.

But for the sake of avarice, and hopefully to serve as motivation to study for good grades, I wouldn't mind getting myself one of these. That might be just a little outside of my budget though - more likely than not for a SWLAW grad with "ok" grades. One of those Thai massages advertised on 7th St. that Sean mentioned last night will have to suffice.

Annoyed

It's been a bit more of a hassle getting my laptop fixed than I thought it would be.

What's A Feather To Do Now?

A sectionmate told the class today that she was dropping out.

Is That It?

Done with classes as a 1L. Only those annoying finals left.

Don't Need To Hear This Now

Jeremy comments on and quotes from this NY Times article.

The moral of the article is don't go to law school unless you want to be a lawyer, and don't go to a crappy law school if you want to work for a non-crappy firm, although they say it nicer. "Michael Young, dean of George Washington University's law school, puts it more bluntly: 'Law is possibly a route into politics, business, etc., but it's not a sure route by any stretch. The vast majority of people who start in the law die in the law.'" [my emphasis]

Read the comments on the Jeremy link for more encouraging words.

Damn this crappy law school, but at least I've got my sectionmates to share my misery with.

UPDATE: From the aforementioned NY Times article:

To law experts, questions about job options do not start at graduation but at admissions, and they advise serious soul-searching about career and life goals. If you want the option of joining the fast track, a prestige school is essential. ''Going to Loyola Law School can lead you to a pretty lucrative, satisfying life in Los Angeles,'' says Adam Avitable, a manager of Legal Authority, a Web site that helps law students find jobs. ''But if you want to have any chance of going national, you really have to be at U.C.L.A. or U.S.C.''

Heh, no mention of what going to Southwestern gets you. Perhaps a less than lucrative and not quite so satisfying a life in Los Angeles?

Motivation to study at an all-time low.

Take A Cold Shower Guys

Crim Pro Checklist For Interrogation and Confessions

2) Interrogation and Confessions
i) Was the confession obtained in violation of the due process clause?
(a) Was the confession involuntary under the totality-of-the-circumstances analysis?
(b) Was the confession the product of coercive police conduct?
ii) Was the confession obtained in violation of Miranda?
(a) Was it obtained during custodial interrogation?
1. Custody
2. Interrogation (or its functional equivalent) [If “Yes” on both, go ahead.]
(b) Were adequate warnings given?
(c) Was there a valid waiver?
1. Knowing and Intelligent
2. Voluntary
(d) Did suspect invoke right to silence or to counsel?
1. If right to silence, was right scrupulously honored?
2. If right to counsel, did suspect initiate further communication?
(e) Do any of the exceptions apply?
1. Public safety
2. Impeachment
(f) Does the derivative evidence doctrine apply?
iii) Was the confession obtained in violation of the 6th Amendment Massiah doctrine?
(a) Deliberate elicitation
(b) Following the initiation of adversary criminal proceedings
(c) Waiver

Again, taken from this book.

Sectionmates

I'm in general agreement with this:

My classmates are one of the best parts of law school. I look back on that advice ["You will like the subject matter, and you'll like the professors, but your classmates, you won't like them."] and laugh. My classmates are smart, motivated, compassionate, idealistic, funny, hard-working, generous, and respectful. Sure, some of them have their quirks. Sure, not everybody is happy all of the time with everything. But heck, who doesn't have quirks? Who is happy all of the time?

But most days, allowing yourself a bad mood day here or there, you'll like your classmates. Honest. And, if you're lucky like me, they'll be one of the best parts of your law school experience.

I've been as fortunate as her if not more so. My sectionmates, and I'm not just talking about those who are my friends, have easily been one of the best parts of my law school experience. They never fail to let a class go by without at least teaching me something new or giving me a reason to smile amid all the law school drudgery. So as odd and annoying as some of them can be, I can't imagine a better law school experience without any of them.

The bad mood days have to go though.

Are You Kidding Me?

From CNN:

Sophomore Steve Stanzak, 20, said he began spending six hours a night in the sub-basement of Bobst Library at the beginning of the academic year after he was unable to pay a $1,000 housing deposit. He slept on library chairs and carried vital belongings -- a laptop computer, books, clothes -- in his backpack.

University officials eventually discovered an online journal Stanzak kept about his experiences and relocated him to a free dorm room last Tuesday.

Scores of students read about Stanzak's daily adventures on his Web journal, www.homelessatnyu.com, and he became something of a campus celebrity.

Well That Was A Waste Of Time

I just spent over two and a half hours selecting courses for next year when I could have been studying for finals. And nothing is even set in stone for next year.

Courses I'm Considering Taking Spring '05

Administrative Law
Adv. Criminal Procedure
Forensic Evidence
Information Privacy Law
Intellectual Property
International Business Transactions
International Litigation & Arbitration
Legislation
Securities Regulation
Wills & Trusts

UPDATE: Can't take both Forensic Evidence and Securities Regulation. Nor can I take both Adv. Crim. Pro. and Int'l Business Transactions. Information Privacy Law and Int'l Lit. & Arbitration is also a no match.

UPDATE: Can't take Securities because I have to pass Bus. Ass. first.

UPDATE: I'm thinking of going with Forensic Evidence, Legislation, and International Business Transactions. That along with my Fall schedule should provide me with lots of flexibility going into the third year when I can choose a particular area of law. The three areas I would then choose from would be Business Enterprise Organization and Practice, Criminal Law and Procedure, and Governmental Units and Activities. The thing I'm most concerned about is whether that would leave me enough time to specialize in any one of those areas of law having only taken three courses in each of those areas. I'm in need of guidance. Help!

So Here's What I'm Hoping To Take This Coming Fall

Antitrust Law
Election Law
White Collar Crime

Now I have to select a section.

Anyone Know Of A Good Movie For Property?

One of Brian's favorite movies was used as a study aide.

Courses I'm Considering Taking In Fall '04

Antitrust Law
Constitutional Law Seminar
Criminal Law Theory Seminar
Election Law
National Sec. & Foreign Policy Seminar
Public International Law
Sales*
Survey of Federal Income Tax*
White Collar Crime
Wills & Trusts*

Anyone with any thoughts on selecting from this list of courses?

UPDATE: Wills & Trusts is off the list because its final exam is one hour after Con. Law's.

UPDATE: I can't take both White Collar Crime and Survey of Federal Income Tax because their finals fall on the same day and time. I also can't take bother Public International Law and Antitrust Law for the same reason.

UPDATE: Seminars are hard to get into as a second year and besides I want to put off writing for a while.
*I'm partly considering these courses because they're highly recommended.

Registration Numbers

My registration number for the Fall is 174. My registration number for the Spring is 54. It looks like I'm getting stuck with Prof. Civ. Pro. II for Con. Law. By the way, those with a real choice should choose section T1. I heard the professor teaching Con. Law for that section is the one take. On the bright side, if I do get stuck in section S1, I'll have Prof. Contracts for Bus. Ass. the following Spring.

The Exams Draw Nearer

I received my anonymous exam numbers in the mail today.

Stupid 2Ls

So Prof. Civ. Pro. II, who is also Prof. Con. Law, is sitting outside of his class as they fill out evaluations. Two guys from that class just walked out without seeing the professor but saw a fellow classmate about to go in. In passing each other by, they tell the classmate that they're skipping class to go study Con. Law at the library. Of course, the professor overhears this and announces his presence by telling them to stay for class.

An example of the 2Ls scoring, on average, 2 points lower than the 1Ls on the LSAT.

Funny

"All these new books coming out about the president -- Richard Clarke has a book, Paul O'Neill has a book, Bob Woodward has a book. It's amazing, who would have thought this president would be responsible for so much reading?" - Jay Leno

Come Again?

Now I'm all for a woman's right to choose - which may make me more of an anomalous Republican as I also don't listen to country music - but there are some people on that side of the debate I'd rather not be associated with.

There were a good number of “Say What” moments at the March this weekend.... One of the most bizarre though, came from Maxine Waters. After sending a civil message to the president (George W Bush, go to hell! And while you’re at it, we want you to take Ashcroft with you. And don’t forget Rumsfeld. And please carry along Condi Rice.”), Waters told the rallied, “I have to march because my mother could not have an abortion.”

Playing For The Chargers Just Can't Be That Bad

After a tense hour in which Eli Manning was a prospective law student, the NFL's first family of quarterbacks got what it wanted.

In one of the more bizarre first hours in recent draft history, Manning was taken with the first pick by the San Diego Chargers, for whom he announced he wouldn't play.

An hour later, as Manning walked away from the podium at a press conference in which he insisted he would go to law school, someone rushed into the room to say the Giants just obtained him for another quarterback, Philip Rivers, whom they had taken with the fourth overall pick.

UPDATE: Apparently, choosing between pro football or law school is more popular than I previously thought.

In the locker room before the Rose Bowl in 1997, he [Pat Tillman] asked one of his coaches, Lyle Setencich, what draft round he might expect to be chosen in the next year. "I told him to get a law degree, that he was going to be President," says Setencich. "He said, 'I want to play in the NFL.'"

I should have tried out for the Raiders as a DT.

10 Days Left 'Til Exams Begin

The plan is to wake up scared tomorrow and start getting shit done.

Memorize This Short List

Biting Tongue breaks down policy arguments into four categories.

Crim Pro Checklist

Here's what I've been using to help think through and organize the practice exam for Crim. Pro., it's taken from this book.

1) Search & Seizure And Arrest
i) Does the 4th Amendment apply?
(a) Is it government conduct?
(b) Has a reasonable expectation of privacy been violated?
ii) Was the conduct justified?
(a) Type of intrusion?
(b) Level of justification required?
iii) Was a warrant required?
(a) For a search, did the conduct fall within an exception to the warrant requirement? (see below) If not, warrant required.
(b) For an arrest, did the arrest occur in a home or a public place? Warrant required for the home.
iv) If a warrant is required, were the prerequisites for a valid warrant complied with?
(a) Was it issued by a neutral and detached magistrate?
(b) Was there probable cause supported by oath or affirmation?
(c) Did the warrant particularly describe the place to be searched and items to be seized?
v) If a warrant was not required, were the prerequisites for warrantless search and seizure complied with?
(a) Emergency exception
1. Exigency
2. Probable Cause
(b) Search incident to a lawful arrest (SILA)
1. Lawful arrest (PC)
2. Limited to grabbable space
(c) Automobile exception
1. Mobile vehicle
2. PC
(d) Stop and Frisk
1. Reasonable suspicion to believe criminal activity is afoot
2. Reasonable suspicion to believe subject is armed and dangerous
(e) Administrative and Inventory searches
1. Noncriminal purpose
2. Limits on police discretion
(f) Consent
1. Voluntary
2. Third-party authority
(g) Plain view doctrine
1. Lawful intrusion
2. Item immediately apparent as contraband or evidence
vi) If a violation occurred, does the exclusionary rule apply?
1. Standing (Ankh-Doctrine Formerly Known As Standing-Prince)?
2. Good faith?
3. Evidence solely admitted for impeachment?
vii) Does the derivative evidence doctrine apply?
(a) Is the item the fruit of the poisonous tree?
(b) If so, does one of the exceptions apply?
1. Did the taint become attenuated?
2. Was there an independent source?
3. Would the item have been inevitably discovered?

Today's Plan

Working on a past Crim. Pro. exam or two using notes. The one I'm currently working on deals with search and seizure and at first glance it seems to involve issues of overnight guests, consent (third-party authority), plain view doctrine, automobile exception, SILA, and exigent circumstances. It's a lot for what's actually a comparatively short essay question.

The Damn Joke Is A Book

Someone Is The Clever One

Bunny responds to this, which begs the following question; what's the appropriate remedy considering that I was in total breach?

Today

At the library beginning to paint my masterpieces because law exams are my art. I'm starting with a piece I like to call Property.

Annie's Obsession

Didn't look so good last night.

Quote This

"A freakin' Goonies line got me." - Brian

Yesterday

Last class for Torts and Civ. Pro. II. Prof. Torts was applauded nicely, Prof. Civ. Pro. II was not but that is what happens when one passes out brownies on the last day and the other schedules a two-hour review session at 4-6 on a Friday on top of the regularly scheduled class. Lunch saw Brian fail at two commitments, which is why he doesn't make them. Robert finally boba'd with Annie. I didn't share brownies after Torts. Review session was a waste. Drinks and food were had at a USC hangout. A few of us went to see Man on Fire at The Grove. Stood in line forever. Brian got to touch the screen for food. There was as many commercials as previews. Movie that started at 10:30 actually started just past 11:00. Made it back home by 2:20.

Quote This

"If I close my eyes that sounds kinda hot." - Wayne

Penis Explodes, Not In The Good Way

From Ananova:

Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend.

Ilarie Coroiu was taken to hospital in the Transylvanian town of Cluj after his girlfriend, Magdalena, 18, "felt something strange" and noticed that the bed was covered in blood.

Dr Angela Domocos, head of the accident and emergency department at Cluj General Hospital, said: "It is very rare for this to happen. We call it an exploded penis because it happens when the blood cavities in the penis burst.

"I don't know what this couple were playing at, but there must have been tremendous pressure inside the penis to make this happen."

Maybe I shouldn't be closing my eyes around Brian and Arpineh anymore.

Shall I Nominate Prof. Civ. Pro. II?

Nominations are now being accepted for the Law Prof 100, LawTV's ranking of America's most influential law professors [I wonder how many from my school will be honored just to be nominated].

This influence can be, for instance, through academic writings, popular writings, litigation, media appearances, business activities, teaching, lecturing, charitable work, or scholarly impact [well if this is what they call influence...].

You may nominate up to 10 law professors -- including no more than five from your own law school [can I come up with even one?] and no more than five from other law schools.

Only law students [that would be me] (full-time or part-time), law professors (including adjunct professors), and law school administrators are eligible to nominate. Your law school must be located in the United States and may be ABA-accredited or non-ABA-accredited [a standard Southwestern might actually meet].

After nominations are completed, an announcement will be made on LawSchool.com of the top 250 nominated professors.

Then, voting for the Law Prof 100 will begin [I wonder how many from my school will make the final list].

So I Guess Skipping The Dissent Isn't Such A Good Thing?

Ernie advises law students to read the dissenting opinion to a case before reading the majority opinion.

I've heard this advice before -- the primary justification is that it can key you in to the points of contention in a case, and you don't have to deal with the fluff.

[I]t's certainly true that sometimes reading the dissent first can save you time.

Make ShitBegone Your Brand

ShitBegone Value rolls, although they say "pillow soft," don't feel soft in your hand. The paper inside is soft, but the roll is not. The reason is this: Marvin Ferris, the supplier for this paper, is an old-timer. He's about 85 years old, and he has a problem with what other companies do to make their rolls feel "soft". It's called embossing— basically, crushing the paper between textured steel rollers, to make little bumps on it. That way, when the paper is rolled up, the layers don't lie flat. And so the rolls feel soft, because there's air in them.

In some brands, the rolls are 60 or 70% air. All that air uses extra space and fuel during handling. But embossing doesn't make the actual paper soft— in fact, it can make it scratchier. Hence Marvin's position: he's in business to sell toilet paper, not air. He refuses to emboss, and so his rolls are rock-hard. It's a tough sell these days— when young people are used to squeezing the Charmin. But the paper works well, and it's honest. For ShitBegone Value, that seems to make sense.

It's not quite Vapoorize but it'll do.

Today

It started with a quick look over the Property practice exam with Annie, Brian, and Bunny. Then there was a three hour Property session. Found out that Annie was on top of the Unclean Hands Doctrine and that we came up with a subtle argument, good for us. Lunch at Koo Koo Roo with Arpineh, Brian, Bunny, Rita, Stummy and Trini. Hot Mooter made an appearance, I restrained myself, you can thank me later Stummy. Read the bricks. Sean went on a fantastic rant against kissing ass for a career. An hour of Crim. Pro. Wet USC car. Workout at the gym. That was it and that was all.

I Probably Should've Waited Longer Before Entering Law School

It took everyone at the Syracuse University law school a little while to get used to the idea of an 81-year-old first-year student.

A Non-Market Particiapant, A Jawa, Or A Butterfly?

I think I fall into the second class.

This Is Something To Look Forward To

Billable hours.

When I summered at BIGLAW and was getting used to it for the first time it made me so anxious.... You fumble around on a project feeling like a complete idiot, with time ticking away, and at the end of two and a half hours you've been down half a dozen blind alleys and have half a paragraph of tepid conclusions and realize you don't really understand what you're supposed to be doing anyway. Do you bill that 2.5 hours? On the one hand, great, 2.5 hours, that's a nice big chunk of billable time -- great! I hope this will take me a lot longer to finish up. On the other hand, you realize, someone's going to look at this piece of paper and think, "We've hired us a complete idiot! It took her 2.5 hours to do this simple project, and she's still not finished." Maybe you should only write down 1 hour. But where are you going to get the other 1.5 hours? Stay later? What if while you're trying to catch up you're only slightly less clueless?

Looks Like I'm Out $10

But I gotta give credit where credit is due. No, not to Brian but to the Rockies for beating SI's #1 ranked team in MLB.

By the way, the Dodgers would have come from behind to win if they had played a full nine - not that I'm making excuses.

Unappreciative Sumofabitches

I just realized that we didn't give our Property professor applause after she finished up the last class of the year. It was the end of a three hour double session that had left everyone drained and she isn't the most liked professor. But isn't that just wrong? And should applause be reserved for genuine gratitude or given everytime out of courtesy?

Today At The Gym

Miss U OF A - or Miss University Of Fine Ass as I like to think - was there. It made for much better scenery than yesterday - sorry Brian but you're cute too so don't worry about it. Bunny and Annie joined the Wednesday regulars, which made for more hanging out than working out which was more than ok by me. Afterwards, we threw it all away on a single fry, as Trini put it, at Tommy's. The ride back to school saw Annie showing off her vast knowledge about Cholo's - having dated one - and her limited knowledge about this song.

For Brian

Sorry I didn't get to this yesterday.

By Popular Demand

My Match.com profile. If that link doesn't work go here and search for username "UnlearnedHand".

Any suggestions for improvement are welcomed.

UPDATE: Rereading what I put on there is painful so flood with me suggestions please.

Summer Session 2004

Your Registration Priority Number is 114.

That would be about half of the 1Ls. They say you get one good priority number, one bad priority number and one priority number that falls somewhere in between. So I'm guessing that would be my somewhere in between number? Does that sound right?

What's With Me And Elevators?

So it's after Property and Sean, Jeff, Sally, Yanna, Brian, Bunny, and I piled into the elevator -after some talk about the origin of stroganoff, looks like I was right - and rode it up to the sixth floor to get down to the first floor. As we stopped at the sixth I saw my Fan Club and tried to hide behind this really huge guy to no avail. Also to make into the elevator were Liz and Aylin. So Caroline saw me and the following conversation - to the best of my recollection - ensued:

Caroline (to me and everyone else in the elevator): Hey Wayne, I slapped Liz's ass for you.
Liz: It was different from what Wayne did though.
Brian: Was it different in a good way or a bad way?
Liz: Well there was more of a pause and a pinch when she did it.
Brian: Make a note of that for next time Wayne.
Liz: But no one could slap it harder than Wayne.

Amid all of that, Yanna mentioned she felt left out and Sally kept saying words of disbelief. As Bunny remarked, I've made a name for myself.

Quote This

"It's because they wear those hats." - Bunny

News Sure To Make Stummy Happy

As Kylie and Beyonce prepare to plight their troths, we over eagerly shake Angelina Jolie's hand for bringing a ray of sunshine to La-La land.

The perfect lady specimen has pledged to keep stripping until she reaches the age of 40.

Gucci Your iPod

If you have one that is.

Quote This

"I was sensing that you were boba'ing." - Robert

Today

The first year of law school seems to be dragging to an uneventful end. Everyone seems to have had enough and would rather just get it over with and move on. Today was just another dull day as we get closer to that.

Even though I had written a note in Civ. Pro. II requesting not to be called on in class, I was called on in class. Instead of pointing out that I left a yellow-star-shaped-post-it-note on his desk, I decided to just go ahead and answer his questions. No point in having Jen, to my left, nor Rita, to my right, taking the questions instead or having the professor going around asking who didn't leave a note on his desk - many people left a note requesting not to be called on today. I answered partly wrong, partly right. I was just happy he didn't call on me while I was snapping my head back to keep from falling asleep.

For lunch, I sat outside with Benilda, Brian, Macy, and Trini. Notably absent was Feng Shui Lady. I forced down half of a chicken chipotle wrap and a few dried cranberries, embarrassed Brian by staring at a girl for him, embarrassed Macy by naming Hot Mooter in Hot Mooter's presence, and said something inappropriate about the graduating 3Ls in Brian's name. Lunch was fun.

Torts was Torts. I think Prof. Torts is done with me after another poor performance in her class - before that class, I also had thought I was done for the semester. The only class I'm worried about being called in is Property.

No Ms. U of A in the gym and although Slutty Asian Chick came in the scenery was lacking. It was a quick workout for me. Five more days left.

Does Brian Know About This?

Does anyone really care?

Quote This

"Why couldn't Rose have dated Barry Zito?" - Annie

Third Tier Conversation

Bunny: Did you see Yao Ming mad the other night? Do you think he was arguing in Chinese or English?
Brian: It was probably Chinglish.

Quote This

"If they didn't have a pimp, they'd be rich as hell." - Annie

I Hope To Run Into These Two This Summer

Two mystery men dressed as Batman and Robin have been fighting crime and saving damsels in distress in a small English town.

The pair have been spotted springing into action a number of times in recent weeks on the streets of Whitley, near Reading.

The Reading Evening Post asked readers for news of the duo after they dealt with a pair of streakers at a local football cup final.

And the newspaper was besieged with calls from residents who claimed to have seen the 'superheroes' in action.
Ray Cox, 61, spotted the caped crusaders at about 11.30am after doing his morning shopping.

"I said to my wife, it would make it a better and safer place with these men," he said. "Batman was quite a broad chap. They would scare a few muggers off and I'd feel safer in Whitley."

I'm Going To Fail

Flipping between the Dodger game and the Mavs - Kings game and waiting for the T'Wolves - Nuggets game. Still have to read for the week and still have to outline for all of my classes. But that's what right before class and dead week are for right? Right?

Remember To Duck Under A Table Or Stand In A Doorway

Russian-born University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) professor Vladimir Keilis-Borok says he can foresee major quakes by tracking minor temblors and historical patterns in seismic hotspots that could indicate more violent shaking is on the way.

And he has made a chilling prediction that a quake measuring at least 6.4 magnitude on the Richter scale will hit a 31,200-square-kilometre area of southern California by September 5.

The team at UCLA's Institute of Geophysics and Planetary Physics accurately predicted a 6.5-magnitude quake in central California last December as well as an 8.1-magnitude temblor that struck the Japanese island of Hokkaido in September.

What kind of prediction is this? Should everyone in the area just up and leave for four and a half months until after September 5?

How Did I Miss Out On This?

Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Kashmir, Rwanda, Haiti, Chechnya, Madrid... across the world, violence and horror overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications, unable to move past our quarrels to embrace common humanity. Since difference is all we can see, suffering is all we can expect.

That's why you should go poop right now.

Because today, April 16, is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop For Peace Day is not about protest or partisanship or politics. Poop For Peace Day is about acknowledging the fundamental basis of shared humanity: black or white, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim or Jew, we are all united in struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

So drink some coffee to get things moving and head off to the bathroom. As you grunt out your morning constitutional, think of the billions of people all across the world who are undergoing the exact same struggle. Think of the children of Iraq and the children of America. Think of Bush and Kerry and Hussein and bin Laden, and think about the fact the twelve hours following Taco Bell are going to unfold for each of them in the exact same way. Think about how our differences are irrelevant -- we're all human beings. Our poop proves it.

Empathy through excrement. Brotherhood through bowel movement. Utopia through undulating butt pythons. Today, April 16, 2004, war is over -- if you grunt it.

I guess if you're going to do it you may as well do it for a good cause.

Comments

I was checking them and saw that Brian went on a bit of a commenting binge last night, commenting six times in a ten minute period. Bored Brian?

The Lakers Should Be Playing Memphis

In this post, Professor Stuart Benjamin of Duke, proposes that the NBA should allow the higher seeds to select from the lower seeds their opponent in the next round of playoffs. Kind of like a NBA draft - without the element of luck - selection of playoff opponent. First, he argues that it would truly reward the teams with the better records. I agree, after last night's game against Houston, wouldn't you think the Lakers would have rather gone up against either Memphis or even perhaps Dallas - this is assuming that Minnesota would have likely picked the weakest of the playoff teams, the Denver Nuggets - where Shaq could more easily dominate helping the Lakers' goal of moving on to the second round? That leads to Prof. Bejamin's second argument that it would likely lead to better matchups with the better teams meeting deeper into the playoffs. Of course, this assumes that the higher seeded teams do in fact choose teams in the early rounds that they will defeat, which is not a given. Finally, he argues that it would create greater fan interest.

Fans of the choosing teams can debate who their team should opt to play in a given round of the playoffs. And it would create a new element for the chosen teams and their fans. If the 1st seed decided to play the 7th seed rather than the 8th, the 7th could use the choice as a motivating tool (“They chose to play us because they thought we were weak. Let’s show them.”) and the 8th seed could boast that the best team was afraid to play them. And if the 8th seed met the 1st seed later in the playoffs, the story line would be irresistible (“The 1st seed must now play the team it sought to avoid.”)

That itself would make the change worthwhile. Thoughts anyone?

Yesterday

Wanted to outline both Torts and Civ. Pro. but I didn't get passed half of discovery before calling it a day. Tried to watch the Laker game but ended up taking a nap during all of the second quarter and fell asleep before the start of the second half. It all leads me to ask myself, if I didn't do much yesterday, why was I so tired that I went to bed at around 9? With all of the studying I have left to do for exams, I have to prepare myself for nights like this and this - with less humor of course. (stole the links from here)

If You Can Picture It, It's Funny

Quote This

"Don't tell Ellisen that story." - Brian

At Least The GOP Is Smarter Than Kwame

Yep, Washington Whispers columnist Paul Bedard of U.S. News & World Report says that before Omarosa's TV debut in January, she was in real estate. After showing Bush-Cheney campaign chairman (and former Montana governor) Marc Racicot apartments last year, Ms. I Know An Opportunity sent him her résumé. "Gov. Racicot met her and was very impressed with her, so he forwarded her bio to a few of us," a campaign staffer told Bedard. But once she 'fessed up to working in the Clinton administration, her opportunity for interviews fell on its face.

"We will not be uttering the words 'You're hired!' " quipped campaign spokesman Terry Holt. So what'd they do with her résumé? One idea, a Bushie told Bedard, was to pass it along to their rivals on John Kerry's campaign staff.

This Could Have Been Brian's Life

If he had stayed home and went to CU for law school.

Brian Would Have Been Very Happy In Either Montana Or Maine

The 2004 Whitest Law School Report

Prologue:
I grew up in Texas during Jim Crow. During that time going on long distance road trips had a distinct flavor for Blacks and I remember it vividly - the packing enough food for the entire trip (no restaurants), the using the bathroom on the side of the road (no gas station bathrooms), the sleeping in the car on the side of the road (no motels). But my most vivid memory of my road trips in Texas was the sign I read every time we went through Greenville, Texas -
The Blackest Land,
The Whitest People
In many ways institutional discrimination in law schools is really about maintaining the legal profession as "The Whitest Profession".

Professor Vernellia Randall

Southwestern is #168 on this list, which I suppose is a good list to be low on unless you're Brian.

I'm Living This

As I'm sure many of us are.

Quote This

"She was like on crack and annoying." - Brian

Mr. Yuk Is Mean, Mr. Yuk Is Green

Here's the Mr. Yuk discussed in class - I believe Prof. Torts called it "Mr. Yucky" but I'm thinking she was wrong. There's even a song.

Just To Make Annie Mad

I'm considering doing this.

For All Those Without A Study Plan

Do what I'm doing and steal borrow Jeremy's. For those of us at Southwestern, since we have only nineteen days until exams and not the twenty-eight that Jeremy has, I suggest you modify his plan by skipping every third day, which would leave you with this:

Day 1: Organize notes. Make sure I'm not missing any. Look under my bed if any are missing. Shake hard drive. Check garbage pail. Ask friends for copies of theirs. Try not to lose them too.
Day 2: Get some outlines off the Internet. Feel productive while downloading lots of stuff I'm never going to read.
Day 4: Go to bookstore. Look at study guides. Memorize without buying. Go back five minutes later, ashamed of myself, and buy study guides. Feel bad for the rest of the day.
Day 5: Pick a treatise, get it from the library, and pretend to read it cover to cover.
Day 7: Condense notes into an outline. Get tired on page 3. Use outline I downloaded instead. Feel productive while going through downloaded outline line by line correcting typos.
Day 8: Catch up on reading for semester.
Day 10: Go to professor's office hours hoping to extract clue about exam questions. Fail miserably, but feel productive for having tried.
Day 11: Restaple stuff.
Day 13: Do a practice exam. Convince myself that if I had a model answer to look at, mine would be just as good.
Day 14: Try the outline thing again. This time get to page 8. Decide you really want to have a small outline. 50 words or less. Feel productive for making a completely useless 50-word outline.
Day 16: Wake up refreshed after a day off. Realize how good that felt. Take another day off.
Day 17: Two practice exams. Compare answers with the dumbest friend I can find. Feel satisfied I'm not as dumb as he is.
Day 19: Read the outlines I downloaded, and the commercial study guides I shamefully purchased. Convince myself I know this stuff.
Day 20: Re-read the outlines. Realize nothing stuck. Bang head against wall.
Day 22: Practice exam and interminable session with smart friends where we go over answers. Feel satisfied I'll have a happier life than they will.
Day 23: Lots of sleep. For no particular reason.
Day 25: Final attempt to make useful outline. Sort of helps. Feel productive.
Day 26: Last practice exam.
Day 28: Take exam. Cry myself to sleep.

Have fun studying everyone.

Quote This

"That's why you can't microwave ants." - Annie

And Quite Possibly The Only Good Thing About Having Two More Years Left

Here's a bit of good news for 1L's - sucks to be a 3L right now though:

In the last few years, the number of offers for associate positions dropped nationwide, while acceptance rates increased. Permanent offers for the 4,233 students participating in summer associate programs in 2002 was about 81 percent, a decline from 84 percent in 2001. In comparison, the associate offer rate was about 90 percent in 2000 and the late 1990s, according to a National Association for Law Placement (NALP) survey.

The survey found the acceptance rates for those positions increased from about 66 percent in 2000 to 78 percent in 2002, the most recent year for which the group has statistics for associate offers.

Increasingly, 2004 grads have been forced to consider posts that for many would not have been on the radar screen in the past: judicial clerkships, jobs in government, nonprofits and small firms.

For students entering law school this fall or for those with one or two years left before graduation, the outlook is better.

But better isn't necessarily good so keep those fingers crossed.

A Pedometer?

First they phase out supersize and now this:

Coming soon to a McDonald’s near you: flab-fighting Adult Happy Meals, featuring salad, bottled water, a pedometer and a little advice to walk more.

I'm sticking with the kid's happy meal.

While We Wait Til May To Recieve All Of Our Registration Material

Others are already picking or have picked their courses for next fall.

Maybe Southwestern is looking out for their students' best interests by doing us all a favor by allowing us to focus on exams rather than having to also deal with selecting classes for next fall. It's just a theory.

Who Is New York Times At Home With In Their Home & Garden Section?

Jenna Jameson. Porn is good business. It's a nice home.

Four Weeks From Tomorrow, But Not Now

I've been feeling a bit under the weather the past couple of days. Hopefully, it passes quickly.

Third-Tier Conversation

Brian: You should be thankful you weren't born with four arms.
Bunny: I'm just thankful I wasn't born retarded.

This Might Be Helpful

BLSA is having their 3rd Annual Spring Exam Workshop this weekend. Tomorrow, from 12:30 pm to 1:30 pm in room W611, Prof. Crim. Pro. is going over the material. At 1:45 pm - 2:45 pm, in the same room, Prof. Civ. Pro. I is going over Civ. Pro.II. There are printed materials to pick up at the printshop. So I'm guessing that they'll be going over one or two past exams. It's $5 per review session, $12 for a group of three.

UPDATE: An email from Prof. Crim. Pro.

As you may have heard through the grapevine, I am giving a review
session this weekend to BALSA for crim pro. I wanted to let the class
know that I will be giving the same review to our class on Monday April
26. Therefore, it is not necessary for you to come to the BALSA
session, if you were thinking of doing so.

Brian Was Wrong

The 100 Greatest Movie Characters Of All-Time

According to Premier, here's the top 20:

1. Vito Corleone of The Godfather
2. Fred C. Dobbs of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
3. Scarlett O'Hara of Gone With the Wind
4. Norman Bates of Psycho
5. James Bond of Dr. No
6. Annie Hall of Annie Hall
7. Indiana Jones of Raiders of the Lost Ark
8. Ellen Ripley of Alien
9. Jeff Spicoli of Fast Times at Ridgemont High
10. Gollum of Lord of the Rings
11. Margo Channing of All About Eve
12. Charles Foster Kane of Citizen Kane
13. Atticus Finch of To Kill a Mockingbird
14. Randle McMurphy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
15. Hannibal Lecter of The Silence of the Lambs
16. Robin Hood of The Adventures of Robin Hood
17. Dorothy Gale of The Wizard of Oz
18. Carl Spackler of Caddyshack
19. Rick Blaine of Casablanca
20. Virgil Tibbs of In the Heat of the Night

Not That Any Of This Matters

Due to technical difficulties I have been unable to post as frequently as I'd like from home for the past couple of days now.

Third-Tier Conversation

Bunny: Isn't herpes short for something?
Annie: Genital herpes?

Quote This

"We should be third-tier in that." - Brian (an asian expressing his caucasian fetish after reading about Southwestern's ranking in the top 20% in student body diversity among law schools)

I Like The New Miss USA Already

Even though she wasn't the hottest one competing last night.

Well this isn't something you see everyday. Shandi Finnessey, crowned Miss USA last night, told Reuters she would use her position to help explain America's involvement in Iraq. "What needed to be done had to be done," she said. The Associated Press chose not to report Shandi's plans with her position and nearly every other media outlet is ignoring it.

And There Was Much Rejoicing By Brian

When SportsCenter Was Really Good

Brian made a reference to ESPN to support the argument that certain sportscasters do provide a unique service and it reminded me of this article on SportsCenter.

I Can Only Hope To Be This Calm Come Next Week

Question Of The Moment

Will Brian remain a supporter of Pres. Bush after hearing of this?

Go Thank The Inventor Of Willful Deafness

But why keep up the appearance of paying attention? Stick out that lower lip for everyone to see I say.

What To Do During Dead Week And In Between Finals

I'm willing to help out the females - the cute ones and hotter only - on this.

Quote This

"There's an Italian, which is still white." - Brian

Who Got To Brief The First Case For The Class After Spring Break?

Yours truly. Bunny tried to help me out, whispering to me that I was wrong and even turning the page in my casebook for me. It didn't help me out much though because I like to listen intently to what the professor is saying out of fear that I would miss something important in a question of his. Nevertheless, the help was much appreciated. Arpineh, Bill, and Ryan said I did a good job. I thought I did an ok job. Brian and Annie said he stayed on me for quite awhile but we only had one case to read for the class so it wasn't surprising.

The case was about a personal service contract and whether a court should order specific performance as a remedy. One of the questions it turns on is whether or not the employee provides a unique service. At one point, trying to get at whether sports broadcasting by the defendant was a unique service - Prof. Contracts asked me why ABC couldn't just hire him to do the job. Now for those who know me, that's a loaded question. So as I babbled on in response, I kept thinking to myself, "Must restrain myself." I ended up saying in my babble that ABC wouldn't hire him because he has displayed in the past that he didn't know anything about sports - a good show of restraint on my part. Thankfully, Prof. Contracts can take a joke, even a bad one, and a polite audience gave me a few laughs.

After class, Brian observed that Prof. Contracts has a good memory. If I had remembered that incident, I would have come to class better prepared.

Quick Thought

Working out at the school gym is becoming a favorite part of my school day.

I Love Law School

First day back and people kept asking me if I enjoyed my Spring Break. To which I ask, Spring Break is a "break"?

Macy's 2004 Spring Break

Her trip to NY in many, many, many words and what stood out most was the yummy good meats part. She had lots at 4am.

Yes, dirty mind here.

The Only Way To Take The MPRE

Don't take prep courses for it and take it during your second year.

UPDATE: Guess I can't do this at my school. Legal Profession is a required course.

Say It Ain't So

Victoria's Secret is dropping its nationally televised fashion show this year, at least partly because of criticism following Janet Jackson's breast-baring faux pas at the Super Bowl.

Get Me A Pair Of These

And I promise to wear them every Friday.