Ooopsy Daisy

I do believe I missed the registration deadline to use ExamSoft.

Is purple ink ok?

Another SWLAW Blogger

Keyword Of The Day

Can this blog be any more white washed?

This Just In From Trini

I can't find a link to the full article, here's a short version, so I decided to paste most of it here because it's that good. It should definitely make E-Spat's next installment.

For criminal defense attorney Ronald S. Miller, arguing in court is as invigorating as being the sole male in an adult film's ménage-a-trois.

Since 1998, under the moniker Don Hollywood, the 56-year-old Miller has appeared in more than 90 adult films with such titles as "Justice Your Ass" and "The Jerry Shag-Her Show."

"My whole life, I've been one of those people who sees the wet paint sign and has to go up and touch it to see if it's wet," Miller said. "I want to experience everything, try everything."

But he hasn't given up his legal career.

Despite run-ins with the State Bar over ethics violations, Miller has practiced law for 30 years, handling a mix of small civil and criminal cases out of his office in Santa Clarita.

But, a decade ago, with his legal career temporarily sidelined by what he describes as severe gastrointestinal problems, Miller went looking for something else to do.

Porn came to mind, but Miller insists he initially had no interest in acting. He wanted to get into the business side of the industry, and in 1997, he started an annual tradeshow called Erotica L.A.

Losing the trade show didn't drive Miller from the porn industry, however. Divorced and dating Brooke Hunter, whom he met on the swingers scene, Miller agreed to make his first foray behind the camera.

Hunter, a stage name, was separated from her husband and working as an accountant in the San Fernando Valley. She told Miller she'd always thought about having sex on camera. It didn't take much prodding for Miller to join her.

"I'm a precocious person and had always wanted to do just one scene," he said.

Being a porn star sounded "like fun," he said.

Miller admits he's a bit "oversexed" - "It isn't getting any better the older I get," he says - but he initially was "uptight" about appearing in porn films.

As a lawyer, he wondered, "Can I get in trouble?"

For the first scene, he decided to wear a mask. The scene called for a cat burglar who is caught by Hunter.

Here's his synopsis of the scene: "Don't call the cops. It'll be a third strike. And then sex ensued."

As the scene climaxed, the director walked in, snatched off the mask, and Don Hollywood was born.

Attorney Arthur Margolis, an ethics expert, said Miller isn't breaking any rules moonlighting as a porn actor.

"There isn't anything more unethical about that than being an actor or a novelist or somebody who sells frozen yogurt," Margolis said. "The only thing you have to be careful of, as you would in any other industry, is you don't do anything criminal or unethical in the sense of dishonesty."

After giving it a lot of thought, Miller said he decided to continue as a lawyer and a porn star as long as he informed his legal clients of his work in adult films.

"What effect does one have on the other?" he asked. "I think that, for the most part, clients don't care. They say, 'So why are you telling me this?' Or they think it's cool."

Margolis, the ethics expert, said, "Every time sex is involved in something, everyone goes nuts," he said. "People get hysterical about it and stop drawing distinctions."

A native Angelino born to Russian and Romanian immigrants, Miller said he became interested in the law in fifth grade.

At University High School, now Warren G. Harding High School, Miller got sidetracked, opting for a '57 Chevy and a pseudo gang called The Legends, whose identifier was wearing their jackets inside out.

"We would get in fist fights, garbage fights, but no one got hurt," he recalled.

Miller recently launched his latest Web site, DirtyOldLawyer.com, which proudly boasts "Don Hollywood Got Me Off 2.1 Times!" The line is a parody of the ubiquitous TV commercial "Larry H. Parker got me $2.1 million."

Thanks!

Now everyone can get a piece of Elaine, and not just those who could be described as Frito Pie.

I Want

Frito Pie Finally Explained

I don't know why she didn't just link to this.

Third-Tier Conversation

Me: She doesn't like me looking through VS catalogues.
Macy: Why not?
Me: Something about giving me the wrong expectations of what women should look like.
Macy: Well do you expect all women to look like a VS model?
Me: No, I do not expect that all women should look like a VS model...
Macy (not letting me finish): Well then there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: I demand it.
Macy: You're an ass.
Me: Whatever 4.75 [my rating of Macy on my 1-10 scale].

[This post was just a pretext to post links to VS. -- ed.]

Keyword Of The Day

If I knew why, I'd be a very happy man.

And SWLAW Plans To Further Fall Down The Rankings

Though they probably won't wait until 2006 to do so.

Quote This!

Dude, can we just be lawyers already?

- Daphne (while sitting through one of our last Biz Ass classes)

Third-Tier Conversation

Brandy: I love this song!
Bussy: You love James Taylor? You make love to this song don't you?
Brandy: No, actually I don't like to get down to music.
Me: You like to listen to yourself don't you?
Brandy (with sarcasm): Yeah, I like to listen to myself.
Bussy: Really? I like the music so no one else can hear.

Later on...

Guy: We're not responsible for your laptop.
Jen: Ok.
Bussy (with sarcasm): Yeah, because of all the things there, that's what I would take.
Me: No kidding.
Bussy: I would take those speakers and mount them in my place.
Me: You need them.
Bussy: What do you mean?
Me: Remember what we were talking about earlier?
Bussy: Oh yeah.
Me: Because I could hear you and Bobby F.'s Obsession that one night.
Bussy: The night of the banquet [prom night]?
Me: You did it that night too?!

Congratulations!

To Prof. Dorff whose wife gave birth either this morning or last night.

Maybe, Maybe Not

I should know after this semester's grades are in.

Keyword Of The Day

Of all the effin' filipinos to find, why me? I know I can't be the only filipino so afflicted.

The Cows Over There Are Lucky

Not so much so the women.

Quote This

"It's because I'm a LMG and you're a japanese businessman." - Angela

Quote This

"Do you know what E.M.P. is?" - Brian

Quiz Time

You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to
enable people to write faster, it is also very
useful for writing things which one does not
want other people to read, inasmuch as almost
no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things
efficiently and on time. You also value your
privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not
pretend to be friends with just everyone; that
would be ridiculous. When you do make friends,
you take them seriously, and faithfully keep
what they confide in you to yourself.
Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is
very important, of course) sometimes keeps you
away from social activities, and you are often
lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand
has been obsolete for a long time.


What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not efficient and on time with some things. The privacy and friends thing is true and believe it or not I can keep quiet about certain things.

(via Frito Pie Eater)

What Is Frito Pie?

The question was posed after reading this post. I've been promised an answer. Would anyone like to take a guess before the answer is revealed?

Sorry For Being Quiet

It truly is a sad sad world when this person posted more than I did yesterday and has so far posted more than I have today. I guess I just have to procrastinate more productively by posting to this blog.

By the way, seeing that I probably won't be posting as much because I'm trying to stay in school for another year, I've invited a couple of other SWLAW students to participate on this blog in order to keep up the quantity of the postings to this blog - if not to improve the quality of the postings. I'm sure we all wait with baited breath to see if they answer the call.

First Things First

Some schools have been gaming the system to improve their law school ranking.

One relatively easy way to move up is by more closely tracking students' job placements after graduation. The factor can make a significant difference in ranking, and schools that thoroughly report where their students go -- and thus show a higher percentage of graduates who are employed both at graduation and nine months after -- can gain an advantage over those whose data are incomplete.

McAllister, at the University of Kansas, attributes much of his school's decline in the rankings to its failure to keep close tabs on that information. Next year, the school will put more resources toward it, he said.

A big reason the University of New Mexico School of Law shot up 30 points to 69th place was its improved employment tracking, said Dean Suellyn Scarnecchia.

At graduation time last year, the school took a more "methodical approach" to tracking job placement.

A closer watch on job placement after graduation also was one of the chief reasons Tulane University Law School jumped 15 points in the survey to 41st, said Dean Lawrence Ponoroff. For this year's ranking, the school directed its career counselors to find out "more aggressively" where students went to work after they graduated, he said, adding that when the publication released the rankings, student morale was high.

Now if SWLAW only had employed graduates to keep track of SWLAW could be well on its way to second tier status.

Would the task of placing graduates into jobs and tracking them fall on Career Services and Dean Greener? If so, should I be confident?

Quiz Time

Which Incredibles Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


(from Blonde Justice)

The HIGHLIGHT of SW law's Prom

Wayne so modestly forgot to mention the highlight of the Prom. During the dinner/presentation portion of the evening, each SBA member and commissioner received recognition in the form of a certificate. Some of the more active members were lucky enough to get a t-shirt or a portfolio.

The best award, however, was both created and presented by none other than B-rad Simon. Near the end of the presentation, SBA board members recognized the most valuable Commissioner. This year marked the unveiling of this award - The WAYNE FONACIER SOLLER AWARD of EXCELLENCE. To top it off, it was presented to our very own Brian Yasuzawa. The crowd went wild and I can't recall a more exciting moment that night.

For all those who are dying to catch a glimpse of this prestigious award, stop by the SBA office because it will be mounted on the wall. Each year another excellent commissioner's name will be added to the plaque.

Yay, Wayane and Brian - What an honor!!!

Answer: SWLAW Man Whore

Prom Night

I'll be continually updating this post as more of it is remembered, as I feel like it, and as a break from studying for finals.

Introduction

Towards the end of the school year (too close to finals if you ask me), SWLAW holds a banquet to honor the student organizations. The presidents of all the organizations are invited as well as the whole current and incoming boards of Moot Court, Law Review, Journal, ITAP, and SBA. I was invited as a commissioner of SBA. So it was basically smart people and Wayne at this event.

The night is broken down into three parts: 1) the reception, 2) the dinner and program, and 3) "dancing immediately following the dinner." After the reception - in which we got our drinks and made mindless chit chat - each of the four honors programs and SBA went into their separate rooms to have dinner and their respective programs to self-congratulate one another. Later we would all gather again to dance or more likely to have more drinks.

I. How Did You Make Your Arrival To This Little Shindig?

I met up at Brian's place and in what could have been the biggest mistake of the night, we forgot to do any pre-drinking. That may have actually been for the better seeing that administration and faculty were also at the event.

We got a ride from Jen in her yellow car with yellow tinted windows where anyone looking in would have seen me at my most asian or my most jaundiced.

I. How Was The Schmoozing During The Reception?

II. Did Anyone Choke On The Dinner?

A. Did The Salad Have Croutons Or Bacon Bits?

It had neither. It was half a head of lettuce with tomatoe, cheese, and some dressing. The dressing was good.

The Third-Tier Dinner Conversation
Angela: Have you been working out recently Wayne?
Me: Yeah.
Angela (to her boyfriend, Brian): What about you?
Brian: I haven't been able to get into the gym lately. Not that it matters because I tend to let myself go after I get a girlfriend.
Angela (a little mad): I can't believe you just said that.
Brian (in weak defense): What? It's true.
Angela (still a little mad): I can't believe you.
Me: Don't get mad at him Angela, haven't you done the same thing?
Angela (now more than a little mad): And what's your excuse Wayne?

B. Did You Have The Chicken Or The Vegetarian?

C. Was Dessert Sweet Enough?

III. Who Was Recognized During The Program?

IV. Did Anyone Get Their Renaud On During The Dancing?

Unfortunately no one tried to freak every man, woman, and child. Nor did anyone attempt to do the Famed, but seldom seen, Turtle Dance.

Most people decided to mingle and get more drinks from the cash bar - that's right cash, not open. Anyway, as I was sidling up to the bar, I was approached by Dean Powell and she told me to make sure that nobody had too much to drink. I kinda laughed at the thought of it but she said she was serious. So I told her sure that I would do just so. After she left me alone at the bar, I ordered my fifth Jack neat. So in my own small way I did my part by making sure that was there were six less Jack neats to be had by others. As well as one less Jack on the rocks and half of a glass of white wine. What can I say? I'm a good Samaritan.

V. Conclusion