Inter Alia: 9/26/04

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Basketball And Softball

Had no business being on either the court or the field today. Couldn't make more than one shot on the basketball court. Threw the ball worse than a girl and had control problems slow-pitching underhand on the softball field. It was more than embarrassing, but still lots of fun.

Awwww... I'm So Proud Of My Mentee

He scored above the mean on his first Legal Writing memo. First step to Law Review. I'm the best mentor EVER!

Friday, October 01, 2004

This Would Tend To Explain Things If Deli77 Were White

Here's the abstract to an award winning study.

This article assesses the link between country music and metropolitan suicide rates. Country music is hypothesized to nurture a suicidal mood through its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work. The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates.

Deli77 will no longer be allowed to post lyrics for fear that this blog will lose its white readership. Fortunately, Deli77 isn't white, meaning he can listen to that shit all he wants, which is quite unfortunate for those who ride in his car.

By the way, who knew there was a patent for this? Also an Ig Noble recepient.

Porcupines Love Golden Showers! Sometimes.

This is pretty damn funny stuff. It comes from AIR:

The Annals of Improbable Research (also known as AIR) is a science humor magazine, full of genuine, improbable research culled from more than 10,000 science, medical, and technical, and academic journals, with some deadpan concoctions stirred into the mix.

An excerpt from "How Do Porcupines Make Love"

When the male encountered the female porcupine he smelled her all over, then reared up on his hind legs, his penis fully erect. If the female was not ready she ran away. If she was prepared for mating she also reared up and faced the male, belly-to-belly. In this position most males then sprayed the female with a strong stream of urine,[3] soaking her from head to foot.[4] She would either 1) object vocally, 2) strike with her front paws, as though boxing, 3) threaten or try to bite, or 4) shake off the urine and run away. If ready for mating the female did not object strongly to this shower. This courtship routine occurred several times in the days or weeks leading up to copulation.

Go read the whole thing.

Thanks once again to my favorite lush for the link.

Several Years From Now...

I'll be participating in this survey. Hopefully.

This can't be right though.

Like surfing the Internet during a conference call, bill padding is the sort of activity that many lawyers do, but few will admit to.

In this year's Midlevel Associates Survey, however, 160 associates from 79 law firms -- or about 4 percent of respondents -- report that inflating their hours on time sheets is an accepted practice at their firms.... Many agree that the tendency to inflate hours is an unavoidable, albeit unfortunate, by-product of the bill-or-burn culture of big-firm life. They blame hefty billing requirements, a downturn in business, inadequate training, and the difficulty of accurately recording six-minute intervals of work.

Oct. 9 Is All Booked Up

Ain't no way I'll be going to the midterm review for Evidence on Oct. 9. Not with this schedule.

Hopefully Justice Kennedy Is This Good When He Visits SWLAW

The following quote from Justice Antonin Scalia is making the rounds.

“I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.”

Here's the full context, which isn't quite as fun as taking it out of context.

Earlier in the evening, Scalia ridiculed the European Court of Human Rights’ 2000 decision striking down British legislation that bars group gay sex on the grounds that the law intruded upon private life.

He asked—rhetorically—how many individuals would have to be involved in a sex act for it to no longer qualify as “private.”

“Presumably it is some number between five and the number of people required to fill the Coliseum,” Scalia joked.

An audience member later rose to ask Scalia “whether you have any gay friends, and—if not—whether you’d like to be my friend.”

“I probably do have some gay friends,” Scalia said. “I’ve never pressed the point.”

But Scalia said his personal views on social issues have no bearing on his courtroom decisions.

“I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged,” Scalia said.

“But it is blindingly clear that judges have no greater capacity than the rest of us to decide what is moral.”

Another excerpt,

The Kennedy School student, Larry Harris Jr., said that his Fourth and 14th Amendment rights had been violated when he was pulled over in Cambridge for—as he put it—“driving while black.”

Scalia was less convinced.

“What the Fourth Amendment prohibits is ‘unnecessary’ search and seizure,” the justice said. “Is it racial profiling prohibited by the Fourth Amendment for the police to go looking for a white man with blue eyes? Do you want to stop little old ladies with tennis shoes?”

The eccentric justice launched into a parody of a police radio dispatch under a scenario in which profiling were prohibited. “The suspect is 5’10, we know what he looks like, but we can’t tell you,” Scalia quipped—drawing laughter from the audience.

And finally,

Dunster House resident Zachary D. Liscow ’05 rose during the question-and-answer session to suggest that Scalia’s own vote in the controversial 2000 presidential election case could be viewed as an example of the “judicial activism” Scalia deplores.

“I do not mean by [‘judicial activism’] judges actively doing what they’re supposed to do,” Scalia responded. He said the Florida Supreme Court’s decision to order a recount in Miami-Dade County—a decision Scalia and his colleagues overruled—amounted to a “clear violation of the federal constitution.”

And while conservative justices have been criticized for effectively deciding the 2000 election themselves, Scalia quipped: “Would you rather have the president of the United States decided by the Supreme Court of Florida?”

Ashamed

~~My mentee~~This 1L I know, was wearing a salmon colored shirt yesterday, looking very much like my ol' Prof. Civ. Prof II. Maybe I should get Minzner to give him the Queer Eye treatment.

September 29

Is the birthday of one of my mentees. It's a good thing I didn't know beforehand.

Law School Memory #35: Getting Called On In White Collar Crime

So I'm in my Wednesday night class, White Collar Crime, taught by this guy. His calling on student method is that he picks a row and goes straight through it. Unless you happen to be the first one called on, it's great because you know if you're going to get called on and for which case.

Now during my 1L year I had been called unlucky because of my tendency to be called on in class on those few - and trust me, they were few - days I wasn't prepared for class. Well luck seemed to finally go my way as I wasn't the first one called upon. But luck would also have it that my row was called on and it figured that I would do the third case for the night.

No problem though because I got to review for nearly 40 minutes as the professor went over the first two cases with my neighbors. 30 minutes into my review, I was ready... I had the facts down, I understood the rule, the holding, the policy, the reasoning... I was more ready to brief that case than any other case before it and probably after it.

Prof. Strader then finished up the second case and my true luck came forward. He said the case - the case I was supposed to do - is a complicated one because the court is ambiguous about which mailings were involved in this mail fraud case. I was thinking then, "Shit, I'm going to look real smart because I know exactly what mailings the court are referring to." But he thought it so complicated - and really it wasn't - that he decided to do the case himself. The case I was supposed to do, the case I knew better than the back of my hand, the case I spent 40 minutes going over thinking that it was my case; he decided to rip that case from me.

To quote Brian, "Shit-shit-son-of-a-bitch."

Now I could very well have raised my hand or more likely my voice and said that I was more than prepared to do the case. But that would have made me look like a nerd or worse yet, a Niv or a Schlicter the III. So I bit my tongue and cursed him under my breath, much to the amusement of my neighbor.

So the professor did the case and he did it quick, maybe 10 minutes. I didn't listen because I knew it and shit my luck I had to get ready for the fourth case in a hurry.

So he calls on me but first we do this little introductory dance.

Him: Now on to Mr. Solar. Did I pronounce that correctly?
Me: Eh, yeah.
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Well that's the Americanized pronunciation.
Him: What is the correct pronunciation?
Me: Well in the Philippines they pronounce it Sol-yer.
Him: Sol-yer?
Me: Yeah.
Him: How do you pronounce it?
Me: Solar.
(laughter from class)
Him: This guy. Mr. Solar, tell me about the case.

Anyway, the case I did do wasn't so hard. I didn't know it as well as the prior one but I got through it just fine. No thanks to any luck.

I'd Rather Have Lost The Leg

All of Cleveland's rookies were decked out in outrageous outfits on the bus, part of a hazing ritual. An Oklahoma native, [Kyle] Denney said his teammates told him to dress as a USC cheerleader because the Sooners are ranked second behind Southern California in The Associated Press college football poll.

The rookie was hit in the right calf by a shot that came through the side of the Indians' bus in Kansas City late Wednesday as the team traveled to the airport after a victory over the Royals. The bullet caused only a flesh wound, probably because of the tough leather of the knee-high boot, Denney and his trainers said.

I've never been so glad to have a USC thing on," Denney said.

My Two Cents On Last Night's Debate

Sen. Kerry beat Pres. Bush by a wide margin in terms of style. Pres. Bush had a much smaller margin of victory in terms of substance. So Sen. Kerry won the night but Pres. Bush will probably win the battle of the sound bites.

Favorite parts:

Pres. Bush: I don't think we want to get to how he's going to pay for all these promises. It's like a huge tax gap. Anyway...

The way he said it, with utter befuddlement and then a dismissive "anyway" to end it in valley girl style, was classic.

Sen. Kerry: I believe that Ronald Reagan, John Kennedy, and the others did that more effectively, and I'm going to try to follow in their footsteps.

Sorry to dredge up memories of your grandfather, Trini, but it was Sen. Kerry who said he would like to follow in the footsteps of former Pres. Reagan, not me. Not that I wouldn't mind following in the footsteps of the man myself.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

APALSA Study Break With Boba And My Big Mouth

APALSA organized a study break with boba drinks served. We had more than enough to serve and I saw Dean Cameron (aka Prof. Civ Pro I), so I suggested to Sylvia that she give one to the Dean. Sylvia went over, handed him a drink, and apparently told him it was my idea. Dean Cameron then came over.

Dean Cameron: (holding his drink up, shouts out to me) Wayne, you trying to poison me?
Me: (responding without hesitation and therefore without thinking) Yeah! That's for the "C" you gave me. Hope you choke on a boba.
Dean Cameron: I'm working on it.

Lesson.

The new fiddy.

Allow Me To Bitch

What the fuck is this all about? This is bullshit. No wonder it takes me more to get drunk now. And silly me, I thought it was because I was building up enough tolerance to have a full shot of Jack. Guess I was wrong. Once a lightweight, always a lightweight.

(thanks to my favorite lush for the link)

Quick Observation

It looks like the second floor of Westmoreland is the place to be Thursday mornings.

New Feature To The Blog

Can you guess what it is? Enjoy.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Random Quote

"He looks like Kirby." Used to describe a short fat kid.

My First Time

I tried an electric toothbrush for the first time today. Not sure if I was using it right - but how difficult can it really be. I put toothpaste on the small round brush. Push the button. Place in mouth. Well, the toothpaste seemed to fall off as soon as I pushed the button. The brush was so small that I had to refill it with toothpaste three times. And the damn thing made my nose itch. The good thing is that I'm willing to try it again.

Just So That Everyone Knows

Trini was civic minded at the tender age of 4, having discussions about who to support in the presidential election of 1984. To someone interested in politics like myself, it makes my former fiancee seem that much hotter even though it is a bit odd for someone to be thinking about avoiding nuclear war when they should be thinking about avoiding cooties instead. Damnit, should've came across this book sooner.

Quote This

"You've made your point, you're a really smart guy." - Prof. Kush

For Me, It's Managing The Time I Blog

Insomniacster has this post regarding time management

My girlfriend suggests trying to set up a realistic schedule to take those things into account. She even had the audacity to recommend scheduling times for sex. She said, "a half hour here, a half hour there" and all I could thnk of was what if I wanted more than half an hour? Or what if we weren't done yet? Maybe we set the alarm so that it rings five minutes prior to the end of our scheduled sex? That way we know when to speed things up? Oh and she had another great idea. Combining tasks, killing two birds with one stone...like taking a shower and having sex in one blocked time. Where does she come up with these things?

Funny... seriously, who needs half an hour?

Sage Advice #3 For My Mentees

Do not try to excuse yourself when called upon in class to discuss a case by saying that you didn't get around to the reading. Especially on a Monday when you've had all weekend to get around to that first day of the week's reading.

Sage Advice #2 For My Mentees

Never get so drunk at any of the law student socials that you go around grabbing/slapping some girl's ass.

Sage Advice #1 For My Mentees

Never take a three hour night class even if it means you have to be at school less than 5 times a week.

Because Everything Is Blog Worthy

A response to my email.

Hi Wayne,

Just wear something casual and there's no need to RSVP...so c'mon over. But since you've contacted us, I'll look for you.

We will have a sign up sheet available at the Merienda for those interested in the mentorship program.

Arleen

Looks like I'll be attending the merienda ("a light, late-afternoon Filipino feast) in my softball attire.

P.S.: A little humor for those who know about filipinos. When googling for a definition of merienda, I came across this

a book critic had upbraided her for failing to translate "merienda" in her first novel, "Dogeaters."

Shoot Me

It's a quarter past one. I'm tired. Con Law 2-3 and then White Collar 6-9 to end the day. After tonight, will I even have enough energy for tomorrow? Should I load up on carbs for it by partaking in this?

SBA Event: Adjusting to Law School

Brandy did most of the work and put on an event that went about as well as it could go. She got a great panel of Prof. Dorff, Prof. Shafiroff, Jon, and Shannon. It was attended by around 60 students. Those that decided to leave after getting their free lunch were polite enough to wait until after both professors had finished their introductory presentations. Jon and Shannon had to deal with a continually dwindling crowd but they did great. By the end, there were enough students to pose several questions at the urging of an enthusiastic panel. Overall it was a good event that served its purpose to a more than decent sized crowd. The evening program was another story but it was expected and it left us pizza to give to maintenance and to serve to passerbys of the SBA office.

It's Pronounced Like The Letter "H"

Hispanic Business ranks the top ten law schools for Hispanics. SWLAW ranks 8th on the list, which is good but it's also two spots below that other school that's just across the way. I blame it on Brian not being able to pronounce Tijunga correctly. Teach him Karla or Trini or any other cute latinas out there.

Total graduate enrollment.............................979
Hispanic graduate enrollment..........................108
Percent Hispanic graduate enrollment..................11
Total J.D. degrees earned ............................212
J.D. degrees earned by Hispanics......................26
Percent of J.D. degrees earned by Hispanics...........12

Southwestern is a member of the Hispanic Association of Colleges and Universities and attracts a large contingent of dedicated Hispanic students. Southwestern maintains strong ties with the local Hispanic community through outreach programs with predominantly Hispanic elementary, middle, and high schools. It also has a relationship with the global Hispanic community through summer law programs and externships with Mexico and Argentina, student and faculty exchanges, and courses in Latin American laws and institutions. The Latino Law Students Association is one of the most active organizations on campus and has been honored by the Mexican American Bar Foundation. Southwestern students have served as national general counsel and Western regional president of the Hispanic National Bar Association/ Law Student Division for five consecutive years. Southwestern also offers scholarship funds designated for students of Hispanic heritage, academic support programs, and alumni mentoring programs.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Is it just me or...

It seems as though Wayne perceives everything to be blog worthy. Either that or he is procrastinating far too much.

* Note to Wayne: Why don't you try to get some of your homework done instead or at least procrastinate somewhere else.

Don't Be Jealous

Karla is table dancing in front of me in the SBA office. I gotta admit, it's hot.

Quote This

"Make love, not law review." - JJ

A Book For Me To Pass Around

I'm definitely going to have my next would be fiancee read this before proposing to her.

Yeah, She's Crazy White Trash

This is just odd.

Watch These Two Titans Square Off

Live at Sand Hill on September 30, 2004, 3 time California State professional eating champion Sean "the hotdog hitman" Renaud, vs. Rose "I'm So Hot" Supangan, 5 time international un-disputed professional distance running champion, competes in an epic race of strength and endurance. Watch as the Los Angeles local, our own "hotdog hitman", attempts to dethrone king Rose and re-write professional running history in the ultimate showcase of relentless running fire power. Behold as these two juggernaut square off in this free exhibition. This day will undoubtedly carve out its place in history. Don't miss as Sean kicks Rose's ass!

Random AIM Conversation

The following is an example of the difference between Bunny and Brian. Earlier...

Bruin7089: But at the very least I should show up late
Bruin7089: Unless a really hot tanned white chick lawyer decides to bring me home as her boy toy
Bruin7089: Then I would have to skp the game.
cabunny: ok - i understand

Later...

cuyaz: Are you going to play softball after
Bruin7089: I don't know.
Bruin7089: It depends on that thing earlier.
cuyaz: Oh okay
Bruin7089: I just told bunny that I would show up late
Bruin7089: Unless...
Bruin7089: a really hot tanned white chick lawyer decides to bring me home as her boy toy
Bruin7089: and she said she understands
cuyaz: oh so you will be there

Monday, September 27, 2004

If I Should Ever Be In A Full Body Cast...

with sand up the crack of my ass - and in every other orifice - it's because I decided to run up this sucker Thursday night. Just picture me blowing out my left knee and tumbling head-over-heels backwards to the base of the hill, all to my great indignity.

My Mentee Is A Quick Learner

Jon (8:13:40 PM): should i edit what i say to u because all of our conversations are gonna be on your blog?

A little full of himself for thinking that everything he says is blog worthy but still a quick learner.

Random AIM Conversation

Speaking to my mentee.

Bruin7089 (7:57:56 PM): Just make sure my bag is there.
Bruin7089 (7:58:02 PM): Or else...
Jon (7:58:03 PM): its in my car...
Jon (7:58:13 PM): i brought it today but i didnt see you...
Bruin7089 (7:58:13 PM): ok
Jon (7:58:34 PM): ...and that made me sad
Jon (7:58:50 PM): well...the last part might have been bullshit

Little fucker is already being a sarcastic bitch with me. We should get along just fine.

Breaking news

Just so everyone knows, Wayne and I have called off the engagement because it wasn't going to work out. Luckily I had a back up. Brian just proposed. We will be having an October wedding in Vegas. Hope you all can make it!