Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Law School Memory #12: RaShawn's Birthday

RaShawn's birthday fell on the same day I paid my debt to the winning Trojans. We had little idea as to what to do for his birthday. Brian had left to go buy the food; an assortment of baked goods. It was up to Annie, Benilda, Macy, Rita and I to come up with the other stuff. Now we very well couldn't replicate what we had done for Brian's birthday. We needed it to be different and even more embarrassing. But how do you embarrass a guy who came to a Tort's class with his own homemade t-shirt proclaiming his love for that class? That was the dilemma we faced as we headed off to Vons to find him a gift.

Why Vons? Because striking supermarket workers were done picketing at other supermarkets and were focusing their efforts solely on Vons.

As we headed over to where the balloons were it became apparent to me what we should get RaShawn. The others were a bit skeptical of the idea so we gave some thought to porn, a gift bucket of beer, non-alcohol beer because of our school's policy against alcohol on campus, and even a radish but eventually everyone agreed that the garden ornament was the best way to go. We also got him a hellium balloon and a box of something else to make the joke easier to understand for the naive like Rita.

We get back on campus and I'm carrying this gift in both of my arms because it's fairly large. Those from our class section who notice, it was hard not to, came up and give us this, "What are you all up to now" look. We said it was RaShawn's birthday and left the explanation at that.

We got his gift to his desk and left it there for him. When he first came to it I was told he took it the wrong way and asked what, if anything, he had done wrong to us that would warrant such a gift. He initially took it to mean that we were calling him a name. He was assured that we weren't and that we were just having some fun. After taking a picture with his gift, he set it aside on the floor before the start of class, a mistake that made the joke all the much better for it later involved our Civ. Pro. professor.

Our Civ. Pro. professor loves to walk around the the perimeter of the classroom. Some say it's because it requires a student to speak up so that everyone in class can hear you when responding to one of his questions. Others say it's so he can monitor what people are doing on their laptops. It's probably for both reasons.

So our professor begins his walk around the classroom and suddenly exclaims, "Is that a chicken?!" He had spotted RaShawn's gift and obviously didn't get the joke at first glance. Upon closer examination he noticed the card and asked which Shawn's birthday it was since the two Shawns sit next to each other. They each pointed at the other but RaShawn finally 'fessed up. On that closer inspection, the professor asked RaShawn if he would share some of the condoms he was given to which he replied along the lines, "Sure, whatever." The professor was getting the joke.

He lifted for the whole class to see, our gift to RaShawn, an oversized garden ornament of a rooster, with a SpongeBob SquarePants balloon tied around its neck, holding in place a package of Trojan condoms. The professor then asked, "A rooster, a SpongeBob Squarepants balloon, and a box of Trojan condoms; do these items hold a special meaning Mr. Ranoe? Would you like to explain?"

The embarrassed RaShawn responded amid all the laughter with a simple, "No."

And that was RaShawn's birthday, when we gave him a big gay(?) cock to have protected sex with.

No comments: