Armen is packing for his trip to Paris - with Annie and Jordan, and later to be met over there by Sylvia - when Brian points out a hole in his bag and warns him that it's going to break on him. Being the guy that he is, Armen easily dismisses it and says it's going to survive the trip. Before he even gets off the campus it breaks on him and pressed to find a last minute alternative he turns to Brian. So here's the position he was in, he was in danger of missing the flight or going there without a change of clothes and only Brian could help him.
Backing up a bit, Armen has been on the last nerves of Brian and I, which puts the two of us in a small minority since everyone else in the summer program sees him as one of the nicest guys, which only serves to piss me off even more. Armen is very prideful and his own high opinion of himself cannot be understated. That has to be understood to understand why Brian had to take the opportunity to take advantage of the situation and why it was so damn funny - to me at least.
So Brian laughs at the guy as he is asked to provide him with a bag. Now also understand that there was no way Brian wasn't going to give him the bag - he's not that much of an ass. Armen persists in asking for the bag and Brian makes a couple of requests. First, he asks him to get down on his knees and beg for it. No way does Armen go for it and that's to be expected. Then he asks him to say, "Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top." Again, no way Armen goes for it. Not that anyone should be expected to demean themselves that way either, especially a guy like Armen. But it was because it was a guy like Armen that made it so damn funny. The thing is, I don't think Armen even said "please". Nor did he just walk away from it acknowledging that he needed Brian's help but unwilling to say so or at least unwilling to cave into the not so serious demands of Brian. Eventually Brian gave up the bag.
If you're not laughing, it's either because the context isn't understood, or you probably just had to be there, or maybe it just wasn't funny... but I was laughing.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Friday, July 16, 2004
This Rude American Rears His Ugly Head
Tuesday I was in a bit of a bad mood so getting drunk that night at the Fez Club was perhaps a bad idea - I really should have vented more on this blog before heading out. Short version: was approached by an elderly drunk Englishman who wanted to start a discussion with me on ageism - specifically about younger women hooking up with elderly drunky Englishmen, upsetted an 18 year old girl by insisting she was only 16 - she looked it, Brian had to shut me up at the bar - I think I said something about wankers using the word wankers, spilled a drink on Ryan's shoes and these American girls - it cost me 20 pounds to apologize and Brian still blames for ruining his game with the cute one, made Brian drop his drink, Ryan had to calm a guy down in the restroom after I had said some not so terrible things about England - ok they were really terrible things. And that was Tuesday night at the Fez Club, also known as - I kid you not - Ebonics Night, the night they play hip-hop.
On a completely unrelated note - I don't know where else to put it and I can't pass up an opportunity to piss Brian off - who wouldn't want to be spending all the time with Brian?
On a completely unrelated note - I don't know where else to put it and I can't pass up an opportunity to piss Brian off - who wouldn't want to be spending all the time with Brian?
Countdown Clock
I'm not sure the clock is accurate but it should be within several hours of the truth, I think. Try reaching me soon after it hits zero.
No Wonder It's Such A Sleepy Town
This may be the reason why the nearest Starbucks changed its hours from 10:00 am till 5:30 pm to 9:00 am till 5:00 pm. Still too late to grab a coffee to wake up and still too early to grab a coffee to stay up.
A Cute Red Head?!
Talk about an understatement. Anyway, it brings to mind a theory that Brian recently came up with. He thinks that after spending five weeks among women who for the most part are not good looking - as I said, most of the women in Cambridge aren't even "Cambridge" - that once we get back to LA we're going to see attractive women who we wouldn't have seen as attractive before our stay in Cambridge. But I think that's only happening if we limit comparing California girls strictly to Cambridge girls.
It May Be Dolphin Safe...
but it still sucks. The silver lining is that there's more time for Thai massages now.
I Need Many Of These
Heidi posted the first in a series of exam tips. Considering how I did last semester, it would probably be wise of me to follow her advice and anyone else's even if they contradict each other.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Farenheit 9/11
I saw the movie the other night with Jordan, Merhawie, and Brian. I went in knowing that I wouldn't agree with many of the points he was going to make but I also went in hoping to be at least entertained. I was not entertained. There were a couple of funny parts but for the most part I was bored. Anyway, an alarming thing occured afterwards, one of the guys said he found the film to be educational and that he would probably now vote against President Bush because of what he just saw. So I point him here.
UPDATE:
UPDATE:
[S]peaking here in my capacity as a polished, sophisticated European as well, it seems to me the laugh here is on the polished, sophisticated Europeans. They think Americans are fat, vulgar, greedy, stupid, ambitious and ignorant and so on. And they‘ve taken as their own, as their representative American, someone who actually embodies all of those qualities. - Christopher Hitchens
Brussels Trip
After doing Amsterdam in a day - if you can call what we did doing Amsterdam - we decided to take a train to Brussels. It having been an impromptu trip, Armen didn't have a list of the twenty things to do on his palm pilot. So we get there with only a map from of those sightseeing tours to guide us. Armen led the way and I followed him and Annie twenty feet behind. The weather was by turns sunny and warm and cold and rainy. We spent the entire afternoon there and all I remember seeing is a lot of architecture, only remembering this one by name; this public square formed by what had to be historic buildings of some sort; and the cobblestone streets that ached my feet. My inability to recall clearly could have been due to the space cake I had, which I doubt but is a possibility, or the fact that I was really sick and the weather didn't comply with that and all the walking we did. So what could have been a memorable trip was ruined, but at least I can say I visited Brussels.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Feb. Bar Passage Rates
Thanks to Bunny for this article:
35.3 percent pass the February bar exam
The Committee of Bar Examiners announced last month
that 35.3 percent of the would-be lawyers who took the
February bar exam passed. That rate compares with the
37.5 percent pass rate for the February 2003 exam.
If the 1,550 successful test-takers satisfy other
requirements for admission to the bar, they will boost
the number of attorneys in California to more than
197,000.
Of the 4,386 applicants, 1,310 (29.9 percent) were
first timers. Of those, 46.6 percent passed.
The committee also announced that 191 � 54.1 percent �
of the 353 lawyers who took the attorneys� exam
passed. That percentage compares with 60.7 percent for
the February 2003 exam.
Because of two mishaps during the exam � flooding in
Pasadena due to heavy rains and a statewide computer
glitch for some laptop users � the bar asked
professional test consultants to determine whether
some scores should be adjusted.
The experts concluded that the test scores of laptop
users in Pasadena were essentially what they would
have been had there been no flooding. Those
individuals received no adjustment.
Candidates who experienced a more than five-minute
delay because of the computer glitch were awarded
additional points as a function of how long a delay
they experienced.
The committee said it �believes that it has taken
appropriate steps to adjust the scores of those who
were impacted by� the two mishaps.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Do Not Walk On Lawn
One of the very first things they told us when got to Cambridge was that we were not allowed to walk on any of the colleges' lawns. They are there for our pleasure and that we are to enjoy them but no walking allowed. The following is the explanation I was given as to why.
Back in the day, professors were not payed well or at all, they had to deal with the bratty students, and they had to be celibate. Conditions not inducive to attracting people into the profession to be sure. So as an incentive, the university banned everyon from walking on their lawns unless they were a professor.
So yeah, they gave up sex for the privilege of walking on grass.
Back in the day, professors were not payed well or at all, they had to deal with the bratty students, and they had to be celibate. Conditions not inducive to attracting people into the profession to be sure. So as an incentive, the university banned everyon from walking on their lawns unless they were a professor.
So yeah, they gave up sex for the privilege of walking on grass.
So Annoyed
The food, the weather the exchange rate, the internet situation, the illness that won't go away, the fact I have to go work out to get a decent shower, the whole thing with Annie, and Armen's talk about girls has me in a very bitchy mood. Not much of a vent but I'll just leave it at that for now.
Monday, July 12, 2004
Shaq Trade
Bunny and I have been exchanging emails discussing the Shaq for Odom, Butler, Grant, and first round pick trade. Since I see Odom more as a SF than a PF and Butler as a swingman, I think the Lakers are insuring themselves in case Kobe bolts for another team. If he doesn't then the Lakers are stuck with George, that European guy they drafted, Kobe, and Butler all playing the same positions of either SG or SF. Hopefully, they keep Kobe and are able to trade for a center because Grant is too undersized for that position. Anyway, that's my quick two cents on the subject. Feel free to add.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Third-Tier Conversation
Brian: I got an email saying there's a Tim McGraw concert coming soon.
Wayne (after giving Brian a "No One at This Table Gives A Shit" look, a lightbulb goes off ): Are you a member of the Tim Mcgraw fan club and get sent emails?
Brian (after a "Oh Shit How Do I Cover This Up" look): Uh... yeah.
Wayne (after giving Brian a "No One at This Table Gives A Shit" look, a lightbulb goes off ): Are you a member of the Tim Mcgraw fan club and get sent emails?
Brian (after a "Oh Shit How Do I Cover This Up" look): Uh... yeah.
Latest Quiz Making The Rounds
Wackiness: 138/100
Rationality: 124/100
Constructiveness: 70/100
Leadership: 100/100
You are a WRCL--Wacky Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you a golden god. People gravitate to you, and you make them feel good. You are smart, charismatic, and interesting. You may be too sensitive to others reactions, especially criticism. Your self-opinion and mood depends greatly on those around you.
You think fast and have a smart mouth, is a hoot to your friends and razorwire to your enemies. You hold a grudge like a brass ring. You crackle.
Although you have a leader's personality, you often choose not to lead, as leaders stray too far from their audience. You probably weren't very popular in high school--the joke's on them!
You may be a rock star.
Amsterdam Trip
Annie, Armen and I went to Amsterdam while Brian went off to Paris. I'm not allowed to mention what Annie and Armen did or didn't do in Amsterdam so I'm going to treat this post as if they weren't there and it was just me.
I had left my BritRail pass at Fitzwilliam's but the guy checking for tickets told me it was alright as I feigned searching for it. Just another thing I can get away with I suppose. The departing flight out of Stansted to Amsterdam was late, which was fine by me since it gave me a chance to do some of the 60 page reading for the next Sports Law class. It was a quick flight, less than an hour spent on the plane.
After taking the wrong hotel shuttle - Dorint Sofitel and Dorint Novotel are different - and then dropping off my bags at the right hotel I went to another hotel to have dinner since it was the only thing in the area that was open. The place was a recreated 50's American Diner. Luckily, there was a USA Today paper to keep me company.
I woke up refreshed the next day but didn't get out of the hotel until a few hours later because of people who didn't do anything in Amsterdam, didn't wake up until much later. After I took the train into the center of Amsterdam, I had lunch and then bought myself a Canal Bus pass to tour Amsterdam. It was a good idea since it hit all of the major tourist destinations and it gave you a tour of the canals as well. I got off at the museums stop and visited the Rijksmuseum where, inter alia, I saw this. Next up was the Van Gogh Museum where this was displayed alongside this with this in the next room and this on the same floor. Annie, who wasn't there but if she was, picked up an Almond Blossoms umbrella and some magnets to stick on the fridge. That was it for the museums.
I ended up walking around trying to find the Red Light District but Armen, who wasn't there but if he were, couldn't lead the way even after having asked for directions a few times. Who knew it was so hard to get answered the question, "Where are the prostitutes?" So I walked the city of Amsterdam stumbling upon the sights by chance. Finally,we I made it to the Red Light District.
So basically, the women are behind windows or glass doors and those without the curtain shut closed are available for their services. After asking one of the ladies - asked and only asked, not charged - I found out that 50 euros gets you 15 minutes. And what do those 15 mintues get you? "A fuck and a suck" I was told and everything else too, which includes snuggling I suppose, Brian. By the way, a word of caution, if you go down certain alleyways, though they appear otherwise, they're not women. At the urging of people who were not there I took in a peep show for 2 euros. It was lame. The women behind the glass doors were putting on much better shows to attract customers. Also, it might interest a reader or two or three of mine to know that I found a Thai Massage place there.
After semi-experiencing the Red Light District, we... I mean I... decided to seek out a place that Andrea had suggested, The Grasshpper. So yeah, this being my first time trying to get high I was told by a certain somebody who wasn't there that I wasn't doing it right if I wasn't coughing it back up. Being so advised, I took a long drag on it and tried to swallow the smoke. Much coughing ensued. Now I'm pretty certain it was trying to swallow the smoke rather than the cough I already had from whatever illness struck me last week and has decided to stay with me. I just smoked a single joint - the cheap stuff of course, I mean being a neophyte, how was I to tell the difference between the good stuff and the cheap stuff? - and unlike that Clinton fellow I inhaled, but I'm pretty sure I didn't get high. How do I know this? I still found Armen and Annie to be more annoying than amusing afterwards. On our way back to the hotel we picked up for ourselves a few space cakes. I decided to save mine for the train ride to Brussels.
I had left my BritRail pass at Fitzwilliam's but the guy checking for tickets told me it was alright as I feigned searching for it. Just another thing I can get away with I suppose. The departing flight out of Stansted to Amsterdam was late, which was fine by me since it gave me a chance to do some of the 60 page reading for the next Sports Law class. It was a quick flight, less than an hour spent on the plane.
After taking the wrong hotel shuttle - Dorint Sofitel and Dorint Novotel are different - and then dropping off my bags at the right hotel I went to another hotel to have dinner since it was the only thing in the area that was open. The place was a recreated 50's American Diner. Luckily, there was a USA Today paper to keep me company.
I woke up refreshed the next day but didn't get out of the hotel until a few hours later because of people who didn't do anything in Amsterdam, didn't wake up until much later. After I took the train into the center of Amsterdam, I had lunch and then bought myself a Canal Bus pass to tour Amsterdam. It was a good idea since it hit all of the major tourist destinations and it gave you a tour of the canals as well. I got off at the museums stop and visited the Rijksmuseum where, inter alia, I saw this. Next up was the Van Gogh Museum where this was displayed alongside this with this in the next room and this on the same floor. Annie, who wasn't there but if she was, picked up an Almond Blossoms umbrella and some magnets to stick on the fridge. That was it for the museums.
I ended up walking around trying to find the Red Light District but Armen, who wasn't there but if he were, couldn't lead the way even after having asked for directions a few times. Who knew it was so hard to get answered the question, "Where are the prostitutes?" So I walked the city of Amsterdam stumbling upon the sights by chance. Finally,
So basically, the women are behind windows or glass doors and those without the curtain shut closed are available for their services. After asking one of the ladies - asked and only asked, not charged - I found out that 50 euros gets you 15 minutes. And what do those 15 mintues get you? "A fuck and a suck" I was told and everything else too, which includes snuggling I suppose, Brian. By the way, a word of caution, if you go down certain alleyways, though they appear otherwise, they're not women. At the urging of people who were not there I took in a peep show for 2 euros. It was lame. The women behind the glass doors were putting on much better shows to attract customers. Also, it might interest a reader or two or three of mine to know that I found a Thai Massage place there.
After semi-experiencing the Red Light District, we... I mean I... decided to seek out a place that Andrea had suggested, The Grasshpper. So yeah, this being my first time trying to get high I was told by a certain somebody who wasn't there that I wasn't doing it right if I wasn't coughing it back up. Being so advised, I took a long drag on it and tried to swallow the smoke. Much coughing ensued. Now I'm pretty certain it was trying to swallow the smoke rather than the cough I already had from whatever illness struck me last week and has decided to stay with me. I just smoked a single joint - the cheap stuff of course, I mean being a neophyte, how was I to tell the difference between the good stuff and the cheap stuff? - and unlike that Clinton fellow I inhaled, but I'm pretty sure I didn't get high. How do I know this? I still found Armen and Annie to be more annoying than amusing afterwards. On our way back to the hotel we picked up for ourselves a few space cakes. I decided to save mine for the train ride to Brussels.
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