Congratulations!

To Trini and Atheneus on their engagement.

That leaves only myself and the other male contributors - yes, there are other contributors - of this blog as available. Any takers out there? Anyone? Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?

I Wish I Were Profoundly Retarded

No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, either.

It's no one's fault, really. Or maybe it's everyone's fault. It should be everyone's fault, because it's everyone's problem. Well, okay…not everyone. Not boring people, and not the profoundly retarded. But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack.

We're Not In Seattle Brian

Seattle is like that popular girl in high school. The one who gets your vote for homecoming queen because she always smiles and says hello. But she doesn't know your name and doesn't care to. She doesn't want to be your friend. She's just being nice.

Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like Seattle's singles scene, says Kirkland native Julie Thompson. Seattle's dating doldrums are Thompson's business. She has run a speed-dating outfit and a match-making service, and just launched a social club called Magnetic.

"People here have a real hard time telling if someone likes them," says Thompson. "When a guy asks a girl out, she can't tell, is this a date or a non-date date? And when a girl is nice back, guys say, does she like me or is she just being nice?"

Lin via E. Spat