Monday, July 03, 2006

I Wish I Were Profoundly Retarded

No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, either.

It's no one's fault, really. Or maybe it's everyone's fault. It should be everyone's fault, because it's everyone's problem. Well, okay…not everyone. Not boring people, and not the profoundly retarded. But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack.

5 comments:

shell said...

Don't worry. Girls will flock you since you're far from normal.

Frolics and Detours said...

I really like that Klosterman essay! It's one of my favorites out of that book.

Anonymous said...

Dont believe the hype. Keep the faith. Hollywood endings can and will and do happen. Or so I like to think. Hmmmm...
-Brian

Wayne said...

I'm pretty sure the hype is the Hollywood ending. Let's just hope for our sake that Hollywood starts portraying asian mid to late twentysomething year olds who may or may have not passed the bar as relationship desireables.

Frolics and Detours said...

I smell a hit!