Wednesday, January 05, 2005

2005 Predictions

I know this is a little late in coming but everyone knows that nothing happens in the first week of the year anyway.
  1. Brian will find that living in West Virginia is a good thing.
  2. Stummy will be late for something.
  3. Trini will remind me who won the BCS.
  4. Bunny will throw a drink into a customer's face.
  5. Sean will drop kick someone on the dance floor.
  6. Brian and Sean will share a spinach artichoke dip.
  7. The phrase "penal interest" will continue to elicit laughs.
  8. Numerous people will be told to shut it.
  9. Women will continue to befuddle men.
  10. Prof. Kushner will refer to Bush v. Gore at least a dozen times during his Con Law class.
  11. The writing seminar class will be the bane of my existence.
  12. Brian will make only two visits to Colorado.
  13. Beefy McManstick will die.
  14. Joan Lend will continue to annoy and disgust me.
  15. SWLAW will retain its third-tier status but just barely.
  16. The Bruin teddy bear action figure will make another on-campus appearance.
  17. Trini will abuse said action figure.
  18. I will hit said Trini over the head with said action figure.
  19. Someone will finally hate me.
  20. Beefy McManstick will receive a proper burial that will not include the sound of flushing.
  21. At least 4 people in my current section will not be back next year in law school.
  22. A certain contributor to this blog will use a sock puppet to pick up the ladies.
  23. The Bruins will make the field of 64 without having to play in the BS play-in game.
  24. Brian will lose the SWLAW tournament pool.
  25. The SBA t-shirts will be a resounding success if they use a few, but only a few, of my ideas.
  26. THL will fall truly, madly, deeply in love with me but I will have to reject her romantic overtures because she's too tall for me.
  27. Soup will be forced to talk shit about my mom again.
  28. Soup will probably also mention Godzilla again.
  29. NDC will find himself a woman and a kinder, gentler, nicer NDC will result.
  30. Milbarge will still be lonely.
  31. E-Spat will make enough scarves to keep the entire population of Africa warm.
  32. This will get patented.
  33. I will deny using said sock puppet to hit on the ladies.
  34. The Bruins will defeat the Trojans in football.
  35. The SBA will not use any of my ideas for the t-shirt.
  36. This blog will not be making this "best of" list or any other "best of" list.
  37. I will once again score the most points the fantasy football league and yet again will miss the playoffs.
  38. The use of the word "bussy" will die out.
  39. Hoity-toity will be used continually.
  40. I will throw a softball like a girl.
  41. Aishwarya Rai will make it to the Final Four of Soup's next JB Tourney.
  42. I will not learn how to swim.
  43. The LA Dodgers of Los Angeles will do better than expected unless you expect them to win the World Series.
  44. The Yankees will win exactly 119 games.
  45. They will also win the World Series.
  46. The Los Angeles Lak Miami Heat's Shaquille O'Neal will lead his team to the NBA championship.
  47. Tampa Bay gets to keep the Stanley Cup.
  48. The San Diego Chargers will win the Super Bowl.
  49. North Carolina will win the Big Dance.
  50. No one will care who won the MLS championship.
  51. Ashlee Simpson will quietly fade away from her A-list celebrity status. But not quietly enough.
  52. A celebrity I am completely in love with will appear on this site and I will no longer be in love.
  53. I will find myself in a body of water - deeper than 5'6" and however high I can jump in water - needing to be rescued.
  54. I will break my own record in Ms. Pacman.
  55. I will still not be able to beat spider solitaire on the difficult level.
  56. We will find out that Jeremy Blachman is in fact penning all of the blawgs from Ambivalent Imbroglio to Will Work For Favorable Dicta under the respective pseudonyms.
  57. And it will piss off numerous people.


Soupie said...

Re: #41... can you imagine a Monica Bellucci v. Aishwarya Rai showdown?

The heavens might tumble.

Milbarge said...

Thanks a lot! Maybe I wouldn't be so lonely if you'd introduce me to one of those lovely young ladies in the photographs on this site!

Wayne said...

Three words Milbarge: quid pro quo. Whatever that means.