My name appears in the new issue of the Southwestern Reporter Online.
My dream is to one day be featured in the Getting to know you... section.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Allow Me To Bitch
I spent my lunch this past Wednesday listening to Dean Cameron go over his presentation of Myth's to 1Ls - which I heard last year as a 1L and was hearing again to make sure SBA's Adjusting To Law School Luncheon doesn't cover the same stuff. As if that weren't bad enough, Dean Powell decided to sit next to me after I half-jokingly refused her the seat. It wasn't that she next to me that got me riled up, but it was our short converstion regarding the Mentor Reception.
Basically, I told her we've been getting positive feedback but were not sure if that's only because nobody wanted to say shit to our faces and that Brandy and I were going to send out feedback forms to the 1Ls in order to receive constructive criticism. She then said to gauge our success by turnout. I told her turnout by the mentors was great, between 80%-90% showed, but it was harder to rate success on the
turnout of mentees because many had their first memo due later that day or week. She then tells me something to the effect of, "Oh, well that's something to keep in mind for next time. When we suggested dates we didn't take that into account. We'll have to ask the writing professors about their deadlines so it won't conflict."
How long have writing professors been requiring a first memo at this school? How long has there been a Mentor Reception? How long have you been doing this? Was there never any conflict before? If so, was this just the year that luck just happened to run out? Was it not foreseeable? Ok... it's time to stop bitching when I start talking in Torts.
I guess some of the blame should fall on my shoulders for not having it checked out. But it was the first time I've done it, they've certainly gone through this more times than I have, and the date had to be set before the school year even began. I don't know.
The event could have been better with a higher turnout and there's really no good reason that it shouldn't have had a better turnout.
Basically, I told her we've been getting positive feedback but were not sure if that's only because nobody wanted to say shit to our faces and that Brandy and I were going to send out feedback forms to the 1Ls in order to receive constructive criticism. She then said to gauge our success by turnout. I told her turnout by the mentors was great, between 80%-90% showed, but it was harder to rate success on the
turnout of mentees because many had their first memo due later that day or week. She then tells me something to the effect of, "Oh, well that's something to keep in mind for next time. When we suggested dates we didn't take that into account. We'll have to ask the writing professors about their deadlines so it won't conflict."
How long have writing professors been requiring a first memo at this school? How long has there been a Mentor Reception? How long have you been doing this? Was there never any conflict before? If so, was this just the year that luck just happened to run out? Was it not foreseeable? Ok... it's time to stop bitching when I start talking in Torts.
I guess some of the blame should fall on my shoulders for not having it checked out. But it was the first time I've done it, they've certainly gone through this more times than I have, and the date had to be set before the school year even began. I don't know.
The event could have been better with a higher turnout and there's really no good reason that it shouldn't have had a better turnout.
Friday, September 17, 2004
I Take Back Some Of What I Said About Student Affairs
But only some.
ON FURTHER REFLECTION: As if all the hard work was done for them!
Brandy and Wayne,
We just wanted to extend our congratulations to you and the SBA board. The Mentor Reception was well put together and you all did a great job. Thanks for all your hard work!
Melly
ON FURTHER REFLECTION: As if all the hard work was done for them!
Arrr!
September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. No joke. Here are THE pickup lines to use on that day. First, the top ten for men any of which I would use on Miss Swann.
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?Now a few bonus ones.
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.And not to forget the ladies.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!
Do-do, do-do-do-do!
I have to go to school on a Friday... again... was there last Friday to go over things with Brandy. Today I have to go to make sure that the helium tank gets returned and I get my deposit back. Hopefully there's some leftover helium in the tank.
"Watch out...cause here we come!
It's been a while but we're back in style
So get set to have some fun
We'll bring you action and satisfaction
We're the chipmunks
C-H-I-P-M-U-N-K
We're the chipmunks
Guaranteed to brighten your day
When you feel like a laugh
Give us a call we'll give you a roll
And if you feel like a song
Tune in to us and sing right along
We're the chipmunks
Coming on stronger than ever before
We're the chipmunks
Alvin, Simon, Theodore.
Do-do, do-do-do-do!"
Cleaning Out The SWLAW Email Inbox
Ran into the two following emails. Note the contrast in styles and know why Section B showed up and not Section C to a softball game held second semester at the end of March. First Brian's who was able to thankfully get enough people from Section B to fill two teams.
Hello everybody,Now mine, which drew one person from Section C.
So it is that time again. We are having another softball game, but with a little twist. We no longer have to take our law school aggressions out on each other. We are planning to play against section C, if they are not too scared. So we need as many people to come out and play as possible. This includes you girls. We told section C it would be co-ed so we have to come through on our promise. And no one can use the excuse that they are not good or can’t play. If any of you saw me play the last time, you would know it takes no skill to play. So here are the details. It is going to be Saturday (works out perfect for the two section B people who I know will be in the finals of moot court). We are playing from 1130 until 3ish (or until we get bored or dominate section C). Here is a link to where the field is:
http://www.gocitykids.com/browse/attraction.jsp?id=71 16
We are playing on field 3. Please come out and play it really is a good time and no one has any excuses. Come out and let loose after being completely done with moot court and the brief. Remember we are running out of weekends for this semester which ultimately means we are running out of time to hang out with each other (sad, tear). If you are planning on playing please let me know so we know how many are playing and how many we need to recruit. Have a good Monday.
Brian
Hello Section C,
This is just a reminder that we're going to kick your ass at softball this Sunday at 11:30am at Cheviot Hills Park field #3. Here's the address so you can Mapquest it:
Location: 2551 Motor Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90064
Neighborhood: West L.A./Century City
Phone: 310.837.5186
Now for those of your who are not sure about coming out to play, I give you the following reasons why you should. First, with finals fast approaching this will be one of the last opportunities for you to get together with your sectionmates outside of school. Second, we're not going to dominate you guys that badly, we promise to keep the score close so your section can save some face. Third, it's an opportunity
for you guys to get to know the smart section - that would be section B. Fourth, for you guys, you get to meet the cute girls of section B. Finally, for you ladies, you get to play with the bats and balls of section B.
So if you're going to show, please tell your SBA rep. - the one who spells "Eileen" all weird - so she can organize a team. And even if you don't want to play, show up anyway to support your section during the game and to console them afterwards.
By the way, bring a glove if you have one but if you don't, don't worry about it we should have a few extra.
-Wayne
RE: APALSA's Mentore/Mentee Night Expenditures
I emailed the Co-Presidents and the VP about my concerns and was assured by one of the presidents that it will be looked into. That's where it stands.
Job Market Must Be Tough
Three lawyers and a law student are among the eighteen contestants in this season's The Apprentice.
Also, love tonight's episode about selling gelato. Good times flooding the memory!
Also, love tonight's episode about selling gelato. Good times flooding the memory!
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Another Reason To Leave ITAP Dying By The Side Of The Road
Dear Student:Damnit to hell, I'm missing out on a free t-shirt. I did reply saying I couldn't participate and I asked if I could get a free t-shirt regardless. I don't think it's happening.
Thank you for your interest in participating as a Student Guide for the Alumni Resource Network Launch. If you wish to volunteer you will have to attend a Student Guide meeting scheduled Monday, September 20, 2004 at 12:30 pm or 5:45 pm. The meetings will run only 5-10 min and will discuss what you will be doing for the evening. You will also receive your free Southwestern T-Shirt which we would like you to wear to the event.
Please reply to this email and let me know which meeting you will be able to attend. Also include the size t-shirt you would prefer(M, L, XL). If you are unable to volunteer please email or call me at
555-555-5555.
Once again thank you for your support.
Sincerely,
Joan Bautista
It Was More Than Edible Too
I would be remiss in not mentioning that my fiancee - my finacee for at least a few more days anyway - cooked pad thai for our dinner over at Brian's the other night. I'd also like to point out that my fiancee needs to learn how to post to this blog. Keep trying hun.
Conversation With A 1L
1L : oh...ya she seems almost too nice...Seriously, they're not getting the same experience I had as a 1L in Torts and that's just a crying shame that needs to be remedied.
1L : ....to the point where she wont tell people when they are wrong ...which is annoying in class
Me : really?
Me : She always let me know when I was wrong.
Me : Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
1L : rolnick for torts right?
Me : yeah
Me : I'm going to have to visit her and tell her not to go soft on you guys.
Random AIM Conversation
cabunny: ohh - well if your grades are good - el is on the hiring committee at irell
Bruin7089: ha
Bruin7089: thanks
Bruin7089: but that ain't happening
cabunny: can't work w/ a trojan, eh?
Bruin7089: could hardly stand to sit next to one during classes last year
Bruin7089: the grades are poor
Bruin7089: which is another reason i'm tired
cabunny: you realize you were engaged to two trojans
Bruin7089: and you realize it didn't work out both times
Bruin7089: lesson?
Bruin7089: stick to your own kind
Bruin7089: or at least avoid the rivals
Bruin7089: ha
Bruin7089: thanks
Bruin7089: but that ain't happening
cabunny: can't work w/ a trojan, eh?
Bruin7089: could hardly stand to sit next to one during classes last year
Bruin7089: the grades are poor
Bruin7089: which is another reason i'm tired
cabunny: you realize you were engaged to two trojans
Bruin7089: and you realize it didn't work out both times
Bruin7089: lesson?
Bruin7089: stick to your own kind
Bruin7089: or at least avoid the rivals
Stat Of The Day
How does the 'Returning Visit' work?
From your project log of the last x number of pageloads, we extract the total number of unique visitors present in it. Each unique visitor has a cookie, which is incremented each time they return to visit your website (a couple of hours is needed between visits depending on your settings). From this info we can show you how often visitors return to see your website again and again.
The best and most successful websites are the ones with a very high return frequency. If you have a low or non-existant return frequency you may want to change your website to encourage your visitors to come again and again.
The Answer To My Problem
How do I get myself into this catalogue? Hell, if he can find success, then so should I. (Thanks ES for the link and the newfound hope.)
A Typical 1L Day
For the atypical Naked Drinking Coffee that is.
By the way, it's now safe to visit his blog now. Just don't scroll too far down.
By the way, it's now safe to visit his blog now. Just don't scroll too far down.
Thank You's
Congratulations Brandy, for being "the help" - kidding, you're the best co-commish there is and it wouldn't have been quite the joyful experience that it ended up being without you.
Thank you Brian, for going first and offering what you learned from that experience, helping out with the mentee name tags, creating the mentor/mentee list, spotting the most money for the food, and manning the reception table. Thank you Karla, for getting us a great deal on some great Salvadoran food, for helping to move it and plate it, and for helping us find those decorations. Thank you Trini, for also spotting money for food, helping out with the name tags, getting the ice, and also plating the food. Thank you Jen, for calling up the mentors, color coordinating the mentee/mentor list, and manning the reception table. Thank you Liz, for fronting food money and plating the food. Thank you Oksana, for helping out with the mentee name tags. Thank you JJ, for setting up the sound system and music. Thank you Vanessa, for helping out with the decorations and directing people to the reception. Thank you Shahrokh, for making phone calls, creating mentor name tags, and picking up the food. Thank you Shannon, for the help on said mentor name tags. And last but not least, thank you to the maintenance crew for all your help.
Checking that list of thank you's makes me wonder if I did anything myself.
Again, thank you to all those who helped, it was a huge undertaking and without your contributions there's no way the Mentor/Mentee Reception would have gotten off the ground, much less have been the success that it was.
If I didn't properly thank anyone deserving of appreciation, I apologize and feel free to correct me in the comments.
Thank you Brian, for going first and offering what you learned from that experience, helping out with the mentee name tags, creating the mentor/mentee list, spotting the most money for the food, and manning the reception table. Thank you Karla, for getting us a great deal on some great Salvadoran food, for helping to move it and plate it, and for helping us find those decorations. Thank you Trini, for also spotting money for food, helping out with the name tags, getting the ice, and also plating the food. Thank you Jen, for calling up the mentors, color coordinating the mentee/mentor list, and manning the reception table. Thank you Liz, for fronting food money and plating the food. Thank you Oksana, for helping out with the mentee name tags. Thank you JJ, for setting up the sound system and music. Thank you Vanessa, for helping out with the decorations and directing people to the reception. Thank you Shahrokh, for making phone calls, creating mentor name tags, and picking up the food. Thank you Shannon, for the help on said mentor name tags. And last but not least, thank you to the maintenance crew for all your help.
Checking that list of thank you's makes me wonder if I did anything myself.
Again, thank you to all those who helped, it was a huge undertaking and without your contributions there's no way the Mentor/Mentee Reception would have gotten off the ground, much less have been the success that it was.
If I didn't properly thank anyone deserving of appreciation, I apologize and feel free to correct me in the comments.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Allow Me To Bitch
At last week's APALSA Mentor/Mentee Mixer one of the APALSA board members decided to buy a round of drinks for everyone. He tells everyone at the mixer this and got for each table what was essentially a large pitcher of beer. At the end of the night, he had run up a drink tab of $200 and a few days later he ends up paying only $60. How so? He bitched about it at today's APALSA board meeting that I missed. One of the other board members decided to divvy up the bill among himself - putting in more than $60 - and other willing board members instead of telling the bitch to eat the entire $200 himself. Ain't no fucking way I'm a willing board member.
Also, an unauthorized $100 was spent on food. The unsupported suspicion is that the bitch was entertaining some of his friends who aren't even SWLAW students much less APALSA members. The board decided to have it taken out of APALSA's account - probably have to in order to be reimbursed for the authorized food if it's on the same receipt - but there could be a problem with Student Affairs since the reciept is in Korean.
Yeah... I'm a proud APALSA board member.
UPDATE: So I ended up talking to the suspected board member and he satisfactorily explained what happened. I really should have gone to him first before bitching. Lesson learned I suppose.
Also, an unauthorized $100 was spent on food. The unsupported suspicion is that the bitch was entertaining some of his friends who aren't even SWLAW students much less APALSA members. The board decided to have it taken out of APALSA's account - probably have to in order to be reimbursed for the authorized food if it's on the same receipt - but there could be a problem with Student Affairs since the reciept is in Korean.
Yeah... I'm a proud APALSA board member.
UPDATE: So I ended up talking to the suspected board member and he satisfactorily explained what happened. I really should have gone to him first before bitching. Lesson learned I suppose.
Third Time Will Be The Charm
Or it'll be three strikes and I'm out. A perfect ending to my day when the modern day Odd Couple of Brian and Ryan surprised Trini and I with a carrot cake including the message "Congratulations to Trini and Wayne on their Engagement".
UPDATE: Just to clarify, the engagement w/Trini is going to be a short-lived one and thus she will become the second of two failed engagements. It's the next one that I'm making sure counts. I hope.
UPDATE: Just to clarify, the engagement w/Trini is going to be a short-lived one and thus she will become the second of two failed engagements. It's the next one that I'm making sure counts. I hope.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
ITAP Progress (Or Lack Thereof) V
So I made it on to the second round. About half of the 56 people who initially tried out were cut. Another 8 to 10 people will be cut after this coming round and the interviews.
Today I called one of the current ITAP members and - I believe, Board member of ITAP - a bitch. It was all in bad humor or not. Depending on which gets me out of it.
Today I called one of the current ITAP members and - I believe, Board member of ITAP - a bitch. It was all in bad humor or not. Depending on which gets me out of it.
An Open Invitation
A bbq going on at Brian's tonight at 8pm. Late notice but I expect you all there. Consider yourself invited Bunny - I know it ain't Roscoe's but eh. And your sister can come too of course.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Reminder To Self
Great, Stolen Idea
A few years ago while I was at the number one party school in the nation, a few friends and I were sitting around thinking about inventions we could create that would help us not have to go to law school to make our fortunes. We came up with the idea of alcohol in the pill form. You could simply pop a few pills, skip the drinking part and be drunk. This pill would rid partygoers of the annoyance of having to use the bathroom every five minutes. Well it looks like someone kind of beat us to the punch with this invention http://slate.msn.com/id/2106393/?GT1=5100
CU Has It Wrong
The Buffalo that Americans refer to is actually a Bison. It is also called the American Buffalo.Only partly wrong I suppose. For corroboration,
To many people, 'buffalo' is the popular name often used to describe North American bison; however, this is a misnomer. In fact, buffalo are distinctly different animals from bison. Although both bison and buffalo belong to the same family, Bovidae, true 'buffalo' are native only to Africa and Asia.
From An Email From Deli77
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators
during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
A New Type Of Rollie Annoyance Invading Law School
Hopefully this doesn't become as popular at SWLAW as those airport accessories that people wheel behind them.
Dodger Game
Larry Walker just overran second base and got called out because of it. What an idiot. And how bored must I be to be posting this? Maybe I should read Con Law instead of wasting my time blogging about a baseball game. Ha.
UPDATE: Why I hate when rosters expand to 40, Mike Venafro. Who the fuck is Mike Venafro?
UPDATE: And now Scott Stewart.
UPDATE: First a dropped ball at second base and now a passed ball. They should be called the Los Angeles Lucky Bastards... or something more clever.
UPDATE: Didn't Gagne throw 31 pitches just last night? Now he's being brought in to protect a 1 run lead. At least he's not facing the heart of the order.
UPDATE: Why I hate when rosters expand to 40, Mike Venafro. Who the fuck is Mike Venafro?
UPDATE: And now Scott Stewart.
UPDATE: First a dropped ball at second base and now a passed ball. They should be called the Los Angeles Lucky Bastards... or something more clever.
UPDATE: Didn't Gagne throw 31 pitches just last night? Now he's being brought in to protect a 1 run lead. At least he's not facing the heart of the order.
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