Forget SBA, I'm Running For THE Presidency

Unscripted and unprecedented, American Candidate is a reality series in which the viewing public will select a People's Candidate who will then have the chance to run for president of the United States. The series will be executive produced by Academy Award®-nominated and Emmy®-winning documentary filmmaker R.J. Cutler ("The War Room," "American High," "Freshman Diaries"), along with Jay Roach (director of "Austin Powers," "Meet the Parents") and Tom Lassally.

The show will debut in Summer 2004 with 12 contestants from all walks of life. Over the course of the series, those 12 will face off against each other and will be narrowed down through audience participation. The final episode will be a showdown among the remaining contestants, and one person will emerge victorious – the "American Candidate."

Apply here.

MY PLATFORM
As President of the United States of America, I promise to pressure Southwestern University School of Law to raise their mean GPA to a 3.5 and to include wireless internet thoughout the whole campus. That is all.

God bless America and Section B Day.

Not That There's Any Chance In Hell

But just in case an opportunity presents itself, I'll keep this, this, and this in mind. Basically, you really, really, really have to love what you'll be doing at a big firm because you get but only one thing other than big law firm work to do if you should be so lucky enough.

Look What I've Found

Another site like this one from a Southwestern Law student. Unfortunately, he has not updated since October of last year. From what I can tell, he's from section A and goes by the name of Craig.

This Makes Grand Theft Auto Look Tame In Comparison

Later this year, struggling publisher Midway will attempt to shock and awe with its remake of the 1990 arcade classic "N.A.R.C." Its timing, though, couldn't be worse – and could have long-term ramifications on the industry.

The basic premise of the game hasn't changed. You're still a cop and you're still looking to take out the dealers and suppliers. And, odds are you'll pick up the cash and drugs scattered about once again. The hook is: In the new "N.A.R.C.", your character can – and is, in fact, encouraged to – ingest those drugs.

Looking to slow time around you – a la "The Matrix" or "Max Payne"? Take a toke. Marijuana puts you into "weed time." Not sure who the bad guys are? Drop some LSD and enemies will appear to have giant devil heads. Moving too slow? A little speed will take care of that, letting you zip around and fight at an incredibly fast pace.

Quote This

"The movies should dub your perfect sounding farts." - Sean

Last Night

Tried to get into White Lotus but that didn't happen, which isn't too surprising considering the number of guys that were part of the group. After being rejected we walked down the block to Star Shoes. An interesting venue but not much to it. Really narrow is how I would describe the place. After maybe a half hour there we went back to White Lotus to get Brian's car.

Getting Brian's car was a saga in of itself. Apparently, asking the difference between regular parking and VIP parking and then selecting regular parking is a bad move. The comedic - and what we thought to be reasonable - thinking of Brian at the time he parked, was that it wasn't his job to run all the way to the farther "regular" parking lot. So regular parking it was. And so we waited and waited and Brian slipped a 20 and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited.

Once we got the car back we dropped off Arpineh and met with Armen, Annie, and Brannon at BJ's in Burbank. Perhaps the best part of the night for those of us who were there. The conversation was, as always, refreshingly funny. After BJ's, four of us, Brian, Armen, Sean, and I decided to go to Commerce to play cards rather than hitting up a strip club. Sean and Armen played hold 'em while Brian and I had another one of our girly conversations about relationships. Seriously, next time we're having a talk like that, I'm mentioning sex every third word to assure myself that I haven't lost my balls. Anyway, Sean lost, Armen won - most of it being Sean's money. We left just after 4 and I made it home just after 5.

Good thing I don't have moot court until tomorrow.

And that was last night.

Round 2 Of Moot Court

Is well underway at this moment. Good luck to all.

Ever Wonder What Would Happen If Chris Rock Were To Change His Cell Phone Number?

No? Well I didn't think so but click here anyway and find out.

Son Of A

From CNN:

Barring any dramatic change, you'll probably pay a whopping 30 percent more this summer than a year or two ago for everything -- from a café au lait in Paris or the entry to the Prado Museum in Madrid, to a hotel room in Dublin or a gelato in Florence. (Twelve countries are within the "euro zone.")

The situation is not much better in the United Kingdom, where the British pound still rules: One pound costs Americans about $1.85. And it's expected to rise to nearly $2 per pound by this summer.

Budget-conscious travelers should avoid the priciest, most touristy cities (such as London, Paris or Rome) and focus on off-the-beaten-path locales.

For example, consider Eastern or Central Europe, where they don't use the euro. The beaches in Croatia, where the currency is the kuna, are as beautiful as those across the Adriatic in Italy -- and they are cheaper and less crowded.

And a cold beer bought with Polish zlotys in Warsaw is going to cost you a lot less than one at a beer garden in Berlin, where you'll pay in pricey euros.

One question, are Croation chicks hot?

At Least I'm Entertaining

Stummy writes that this blog is proof that law students have too much time on their hands. I think she's wrong. It's not that I, or law students in general, have too much time on their hands. It's quite the opposite really. There's never enough time in the day and night to do everything a typical law student wants to do. Since understanding the law is so damn time consuming the hardest thing really is to find a balance between getting all of the school work done and enjoying a life outside of studying the law.

Anyway, all that this site is proof of is that I like to waste time that can be better spent.

I'm Normal!

At least in this way. Or at the very least I won't be alone as an insane law student cramming at the very last moment.

Hardest Thing In Law School

Forget understanding 4th Amendment protections, or doing moot court/appellate brief, or even understanding why Prof. Civ. Pro. II wears what he does. The hardest thing in law school is this.

Well If Match.Com Doesn't Work Out...

I can always resort to this.

My Personal Attraction Report

Some quick observations:

- 1% of all women find my personality type very attractive
That doesn't bode well for me does it?

- 9% (or 1 in 11 women) have the exact combination of similarities and contrasts in personality I find extremely appealing
Yeah, I'm picky.

- Women's habits and attitudes you'd have a hard time putting up with include:

Women who are moody or overly negative.
Women who need frequent reminders that you care about them and would be upset if they thought you found another woman physically attractive.

That's exactly right.

Now go forth everyone and find me my match.

Quote This

"Like it's in the phone book. Hmmmm... 'B' for blow or 'H' for head?" - Annie

The World's Greatest Law Review Article

From lawhaha's Strange Judicial Opinions

In a copyright battle between two British rap bands, an English court ruled that rap lyrics should for practical purposes be considered a “foreign language,” requiring expert testimony as to their interpretation.

British band Ant’ill Mob sued another band, Heartless Crew, alleging the defendant disparaged the band’s copyright for its 2001 hit song, “Burnin’,” by remixing the song using lyrics the plaintiff considered objectionable because they allegedly refer to drugs and violence. They include “shizzle my nizzle,” “mish mash man,” and “string dem up.”

However, Judge Kim Lewison said that even after playing the record at half speed and consulting the Urban Dictionary, he could not determine the meaning of the phrases without an expert witness.

The amusing predicament of three uppercrust, white, middle-aged judges trying to unravel urban slang was not lost on Judge Kim, who commented on the “faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases.”

According to the Urban Dictionary (urbandictionary.com), “shizzle my nizzle” means:

a bastardization of “fo’ sheezy mah neezy,” a bastardization of “for sure mah n---,” a bastardization of “I concur with you wholeheartedly my African-American brother.

Personally, I Could Use All Of These Terms In About A Two Month Period

A random generator of like terms is found here.

Very Annoyed

Can't find my cell phone.

Macy And Two Other Bi's

Which begs the question, why wasn't I invited over?

Does This Reek Of Desperation?

My profile on match.com is completed. It's going to be interesting to see what it leads to. With apologies to this guy, I ended up using the name UnLearnedHand. So check it out already. Or wait for it to get approved and published first, which could take anywhere from 24 to 48 hours.

The Definitive Answer As To The Whole China/Taiwan Thing

Random AIM Conversation

Rizbang (9:01:12 PM): wayne are u getting brain in the rental?
Auto response from Bruin7089 (9:01:12 PM): I am away from my computer right now.
Bruin7089 (9:03:00 PM): What?
Rizbang (9:03:08 PM): haha
Rizbang (9:04:11 PM): its the way rappers say that there getting head, i just figured thats where you were since you are the mack daddy of section B

Needless to say, I'm no mack daddy. I do wish I were "getting brain in the rental" though.

More From Match.Com

International Entertainment Law: C
International Sports Law: B

Term GPA: 2.400
Cum. GPA: 2.540

Who Knew?!

It's really difficult to come up with a username for an online dating service. I tried to get Soller but that was already taken so it suggested Sollerkins.

UPDATE: Tried to get LearnedHand. No luck. But it did suggest LearnedHandkin.

UPDATE: I'm currently learning more about myself and what others think of me than I can recall in recent memory.

UPDATE: Took a physical appearance test to find out exactly what I look for physically in the opposite sex. I can't wait to see the results.

UPDATE: Only 7% of men are very attracted to my type.

UPDATE:

Mainstream: Your tastes fell right in the middle compared to other men your age. You seem to have a pretty balanced view of attractiveness. You're not overly "picky," and at the same time you appreciate "traditional" or "mainstream" good looks. This is usually a good position, since you're not fighting over the most popular women with other men, and instead can focus on the undiscovered "gems." See the pie chart below to see how many men fall into picky or open categories.

UPDATE:

Your choices show a consistent interest in a wide variety of Asian women. These women really stood out to you as being very appealing.

You found 25% of the Asian women in this test physically attractive.

You found 20% of the Asian women in this test "date-able".

UPDATE:

A Caucasian woman's skin tone and hair color did not appear to have any effect on whether you found her appealing or not.

55% of the Caucasian women you found attractive had fair or light skin.

70% of the Caucasian women you found attractive had blonde or light colored hair.

UPDATE:

Your choices show a definite interest in Hispanic and Latino women. Their appeal to you depends on a variety of features that you find particularly attractive.

You found 40% of the Hispanic and Latino women in this test physically attractive.

You found 40% of the Hispanic and Latino women in this test "date-able".

UPDATE:

There's a reason why you can't keep your eyes off a beauty pageant. We describe a lot of the women you found attractive as "Beauty Queens," because of their flawless beauty and winning smiles. These women usually have long, shiny hair setting off a face that is either rectangular or heart-shaped. They have very feminine features like thin noses, big eyes, and full lips, conveying a strong, confident look rather than looking delicate or fragile. Even though they look like the "Girl Next Door," they tend to look mature for their age and lack the "cutesy" appearance of more "girlish" women. Although very popular to look at, most men are sort of intimidated by this type, which is probably why only 1 in 3 (31%) say they specifically seek out these women.

You might head to Europe for your next vacation to see more of the "Mediterranean Beauties" you also seemed to like in the photo test. These women, from a variety of ethnic groups, share dark hair and an olive complexion. Because of their flawless complexion and very full lips, they have to wear little makeup, which adds to a sense of natural beauty. About 1 in 3 men (30%) share your excellent taste!

UPDATE:

You're looking for a woman who's smart, insightful, and has an insatiable curiosity about life. The two of you could share a very interesting and exciting intellectual connection. Getting closer emotionally takes time, since she's an independent and sometimes shy person by nature. But she's worth the effort to get to know! Your best strategy is to see her "in action" when you go out with friends but still find quiet time with her to talk. You'll discover she's a good conversationalist, especially if you get her talking about books, current events, or any of her many interests and hobbies.

Even French Scientists Prefer The U.S. Over France

That puts Brian in good company.

Posting From Contracts Class

Annie has said the word "shaft" at least a dozen times.

UPDATE: I was told after class that Annie was told by Brian to say the word "shaft" as many times as she could if called on to brief the case. She did a good job.

Quote This

"Well it will only go 'til May." - Wayne

Quote This

"Because old people tend to be bad drivers." - Bunny

Quote This

"Hey Armen, you're on the wrong side of the table." - David

Two Thoughts Spring To Mind From Stummy's Site

First, why can't one friend compliment another by saying that she/he looks hot? Second, apparently I have the ability to make Stummy do things just by asking her with a bit of inflection in the tone connoting an exclamation mark.

So Stummy, you look hot today, why don't you get down on your knees and...?!

It's Entitled "of bunnies and testicles"

Which is why I'm linking to it, and furthermore, it references Sex and the City. It's got something for everyone!

I Hear Indonesia Is Nice This Time Of Year

I read this and couldn't help but think to suggest that goat and mate should visit Indonesia if only to learn some "Eastern values" so that I may enjoy a meal when sitting with them.

Woke Up This Morning And Thought

Now what did Annie get me into?!

Before I Forget

I have to thank all that helped Peters and I put the final product of our Appellate Brief together. Thank you Annie, Stummy, Bunny, and Rita. Without your collective assistance I probably would have served cambing for dinner.

Maybe It's Not So Bad To Date In Your Section

Remember that reason not to date in your section? Well apparently it was only a temporary reason. And it's not that I'm closely following that saga but the ditzy genius did use a variation of Brian's favorite phrase for coupling which made it worthy of a link.

Also from that post by the Ditzy Genius, "The last week has been busy with all the assorted law school stuff: moot court, reading and classes, interviews, and research. I've even been skipping naps. That's a sad sad thing." Sounds a lot like every 1L's life here at Southwestern University School of Law this past week. Excluding that interview part of course. Damn third-tier status!

If A Judge Can Get Caught

A Virginia judge has resigned after the disclosure of racially charged remarks he wrote in an Internet chat room, including statements suggesting that blacks have a biological tendency toward violence.

As but a lowly law student, I better watch what I say here. Damn all Goats.

More Fun With Penguins, More Procrastination

Argument Sections Are Done

Now all I have to do is put it all together and make several copies, some with a few slight variations.

Still Working On The Damn Brief

I can't believe I'm going to say what I'm about to say, but I really would rather be at the Crim. Pro. tutorial right now.

Woe Is Me

Legal writing and time are my enemies, caffeine is my ally. The outcome is not in doubt but reaching that resolution is already hellish.

This Is How I'm Procrastinating At The Moment

Obligatory Male Chauvinistic Post

Good to know that man still overestimates woman's ability.

The women held off the men Sunday as Tatyana Pozdnyakova used a 20 1/2-minute head start to her advantage to win the 19th annual Los Angeles Marathon.

Under a new race format called "The Challenge," Pozdnyakova, 49, of Ukraine, and 14 other women were allowed to begin before the men. She earned a $50,000 bonus prize for her winning time of 2:30:17.

David Kirui, 26, of Kenya won the men's division in 2:13:41.

That would be a 3 min. 54 sec. difference when the first woman crossed the finish line to when the first man crossed the line. That means she needed only a 16 min. and 37 sec. head start instead of the 20 min. 30 sec. that she was given.

Sad But True

I spent more time per word, editing the prior post than I have editing my appellate brief. 6:15pm tomorrow cannot come soon enough.

Bruins Sneak Into The Pac-10 Tourney

This Thursday, if the Trojans can somehow defeat the Wildcats and when the Bruins do get past the Huskies; my Bruins will end their embarrassing losing streak to the hated Trojans.

Wishful thinking, I know. No chance of the Trojans playing past Thursday.

Random AIM Conversation

Conversing about appellate briefs.

cabunny (10:52:03 AM): are you gonna turn in a fake copy to the library - w/ typos and such?
Bruin7089 (10:52:20 AM): that's funny
Bruin7089 (10:52:38 AM): I never thought about it that way.
Bruin7089 (10:52:52 AM): Sounds like too much work though
Bruin7089 (10:53:07 AM): I might just turn in my rough draft to the library.
cabunny (10:54:02 AM): you should put something about a fainting goat - that would be funny
Bruin7089 (10:54:52 AM): yeah... people in the state of Montana are held liable for performing sexual acts with goats after they have lost consciousness i.e. fainted
Bruin7089 (10:55:01 AM): strictly liable of course

I'll be there to greet everyone in hell.

If Only Law School Finals Were This Easy

Best Of Luck

To all those presenting in moot court today; especially to Annie, Brian, Stummy, Sean, Arpineh and the rest of section B.