Saturday, October 16, 2004

What Happened To Us?

That's what Brian recently asked me. Sometime between the end of 1L and the beginning of 2L, something happened. As strange as they may sound, he and I both enjoyed our 1L experience. Not thoroughly of course, but more so than most and enough so that right now, in comparison to this year, we both say that we wish we could do 1L all over again.

He wonders if it may be because we had gone to Cambridge. Was it our experience in Cambridge? Would this school year have been better if we hadn't gone? Would it be better if we hadn't gotten into an argument with Annie over there? Should we have just gone to summer school here in LA? Maybe we shouldn't have taken any summer classes. Maybe we're just burned out over the whole thing not having taken an adequate break.

I told him it's probably because we're missing so many of our friends. Bunny, Rita, and Sean are no longer with us at school. The whole Annie thing and Macy splitting time between friends. I think going into the year sadly knowing that we were going to be without so many of our closest friends predisposed to us having a bad mood for the year. We went in thinking this year wasn't going to be much fun without them and maybe in self-prophesying way that's the way it has ended up so far (so far? - am I holding on to some false hope that things will get better?).

Mabye it's all the other stuff we've been doing as 2Ls? SBA, ITAP tryouts, and APALSA for me. SBA, ITAP, externship for Brian. Maybe we took on too much of a load? But actually, I found some of my experiences in SBA and ITAP tryouts to be some of the more enjoyable experiences of my 2L year.

Could it be that the classes are that uninspiring? Evidence and Con Law, our required courses, are not fun at all. Could it be the professors we are taking? I don't know. We had a great set of professors last year. But I find it hard to blame the professors for my general sense of malaise.

So what's so different from this year as compared to last year? Are things even really that different? Or am I just being a whiny bitch? We still find time to laugh and it's been said this year that we seem to be enjoying law school way too much. And yes, we don't have as many close friends as we did last year but we've made some new friends in Trini, Ryan, Karla, Brandy, Liz, and our mentees. But then again, most of them will probably not come close to the type of friendships we made that first year.

Brian has definitely had a rougher go at it than I have so in all probability it's a different combination of things for him than it is for me.

But for me... I don't know also... I know I don't pay any attention in any of my classes. I find no joy at all during any of the classes. Last year, I found the material interesting enough to actively listen to the professors. None of that this year. Last year, I found the reading and the amount of reading tough but I read with interest. This year, I haven't read my Con Law book for nearly a month now and my Evidence book for nearly that same time. The only reason I read for White Collar Crime is because I never know when I'll be called on in that class and he's strict with the attendance policy. In Antitrust, I only read when he lets us know beforehand that we're going to be called on in class. I don't know how I'm going to pass this semester.

It's so unlike last semester.

What happened?

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