Last Night

The Apprentice at T&A's, doggie-erotica, gin & tonic not mixed but not watered down like at the bars, T polishes off her drink first, midget lawyer girl gets fired because she acts like a lawyer, men who have done Britney Federline are still hot, worst pile of cookie crumbs ever, can't find a 24-hour coffeeshop, Snood gets some play, head back to school before car gets towed away as a bomb threat to Justice Kennedy's arrival, head to IHOP, A is "irritated", turnaround back to T&A's, tea bag, Brown v. Hercules, magic stick gets put into slot again, wine, "would you rather" game, girls are cynical about love, guys are the romantics, A enjoys walking all over men, now do a jumping jack on it, Ugly Asian Chick, Westminster Kennel Show, doggy judges check, cough and turn to the left please, would you like to check Brian?, bussy, puedo mezclo tu ensalada?, quote your favorite passage, raccoon eyes, guitar playing

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening
All over this land