The Evite

Looks like someone took me up on the offer and changed my Evite reply to the following:

I have been doing at least 10 keg stands per night in order to get myself into shape for this party. Not to mention the crack. I hope to offend as many groups as I possibly can and I hope I live up to your expectations.

Can anyone do better? Try it.

UPDATE: The latest:

I made love to 4 ugly women in the last week to prepare for this monumental event. To all you dogs, there will be plenty of me to go around. Woof Woof!!!

I don't know if making love to 4 ugly women is enough to prepare for all the ugly women at my school but... eh... whatver. Now someone... anyone please change this.

UPDATE: This is getting out of hand.

If you whisper sweet nothings in spanish into my ear I will play with your bussy hole. Spicy tacos make me sweaty. Ie popie!

At least I'm certain of who wrote that one.

UPDATE:

I have waiting for so long for this party. It's mostly because I have no friends and every night I go home alone and cry myself to sleep while my pillow catches the mascara that runs off of my face. I'm such a huge loser that I drink myself into oblivion to try to forget my said life. Oh god, I'm so alone.

UPDATE:

Well, it was either this party or snort two pounds of Colombian nose candy. So I figured, why not do both? I apologize in advance to anyone that I may attempt to murder and/or steal organs from for sale on the black market.